Dear Dr. Romance:

My situation is different that some. See I have only been in 2 relationships, but they were really long term. My first I was 16 till I was 21. Second from 22 till  26 years old. Both of those relationships were an on off kind of relationship. So in between the on and off, let's say I was a bit promiscuous. I never had a problem getting a girl, but I never really liked a girl, I thought they were cute, and just wanted to have sex. So that's a basic sum of my past, thought it might help.

The situation now is, my friend always tries to hook me up with his friends, and they always end up being crazy or not even half as pretty as he says. He tried to match me up with his friend.  When I met her, I was blown away. Beautiful, smart, outgoing, fun;  just amazing. I started talking to her, and got her phone number and ended up taking her out to dinner. Before I took her out to dinner we had a few accidental meetings at a bar, or club and just had a blast! Well our dinner went really well, and after dinner we went and met with some friends for drinks. Had a really good time. Her friend who we met up with was severely drunk and couldn't drive, so we ended up taking her home. Jen suggested we go in this girls apartment and hang out. So we did, had a couple drinks, hung out, and had fun. We both ended up passing out together, but nothing happened. So that's the history with the girl. Well a couple days later I'm out, and decide to go to this after hours club.

Soon as I walk in, she's there and runs up to me says hi, and says "is it weird that I knew you would be here tonight?" I thought that was a good sign personally.

Now I know I sound kind of weird being as I've only had one real date with this girl. But this girl really has me. I just can't decide if she's as in to me as I am her, and don't know what action to take. I don't want to sound like weirdo to her and tell her how I feel, cause it is really soon. She gives me mixed signals, cause I am usually the one initiating a text or a phone call. I don't know how often I should call, or text. I have never been in a predicament like this. Any help would be great.

Dear Reader:

This is a good sign. You need to focus on developing a connection with this girl. Don't make any big declarations, just spend some time with her until you get to see how things are. Try to calm down about sex a bit. "Better Intimacy, Better Sex" will help you understand why.   You'll find it's important, but not the most important thing about a relationship. Communicate how you feel to this girl by spending time with her; not so much with words right now. You have a lot to learn about relationship, and she probably does, too. Relax and enjoy your time together, and don't worry so much about where it's going. If you just let it happen, you'll find out what kind of relationship it is going to be. "Ten Reasons for not Falling in Love" will help you understand where reluctance to love can come from. "The Right Way to Love"  will show you what works.  Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today contains exercises and information that will help you get to know each other better.  Good luck with it.


For low-cost phone counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.