Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm in high school and going through a rough patch in my relationship I have been with my boyfriend For 17 months, sort of on an off, but 5 months ago we broke up and I slept with another male and yesterday he told me he had sex with another female after I told him about my mistake, it took him 5 months to tell me, and I told him I would forgive him, but he says he can't forgive me because I made the mistake first. I don't know if I should stay and try with him or let go because it's very hard for me to let go. I love him and he makes me happy. Please help!
Dear Reader:
I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's hard, but you need to understand you're just learning about relationships. Having sex at your age can be a painful experience, because neither you nor your boyfriend have the emotional maturity to sustain a real relationship. Please go back to having friendships and leave sex alone until you're old enough to be able to handle the emotional ups and downs. Offer to just be friends with this boy, and your relationship will calm down. Focus on building friendships and getting your schoolwork done. That's the key to a good life.
"The Colors of You" will help you focus on your positive qualities. "Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends" will help you get your friendships on track. The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40 gives you the tools you need to get your life working on many levels. I wish you a lot of good luck and love and a life worth living.
For low-cost phone counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.
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