Dating After 40: Finding Your Mr. Wonderful
Top 6 Qualities to Finding a Groom
By Elizabeth James Berberich

What a chore it was for me. With endless dates and a preference to just staying home and dining on fresh sushi and popcorn with my cats, I began the process. It became a plain fact that to meet someone to share your life together, you have to put all the excuses aside and just date. Dating is traumatic at anytime, let alone after 40. Most of the good men seemed to be married or interested in someone half my age. And, I did not consider myself any older than at 21, except that I felt I had a little more sensibility about life. Except that is, for dating!
So to begin my journey, I decided to think about and write down a wish list for the qualities I was looking for in my own Mr. Wonderful, in order of what was most important.

The original list contained many more qualities that I will not bore you with, but these were the basic musts.
Here began my wish list:

1. Companionship: Yes, that sounded solid and a little cuddlier at night than my cats. He would have a bigger hand to hold onto when taking walks or just getting out of the car, not to mention opening the door. Somehow I was always the door opener as my cats would slither in.

2. Self Supporting: He must have his own business, or at least a solid track record at an established firm or profession. I did not want to be a caretaker after years of self support. Trying to balance two budgets would be beyond my left brains capacity.

3. Emotionally Stable: After having gone through the wonderful “change of life,” as my Mother so endearingly called it, I did not think that two highly hormonal people together in the same quarters would be a home run.

4. Availability: Is he really available for marriage and a commitment or will I be one of many cross outs in his little black book? Does his love of another substance that is beyond my natural beauty take preference over everything else that he does? Addiction would never be a positive relationship builder.

5. Good Family Relationships: Although I know that every family has their quirkiness, not speaking to one or another close family member for 10 years would certainly bring up the red flag. Would he be indifferent to the times we shared with my family? Not talking to my immediate family for over two weeks would be for me, unthinkable!

6. A Good Sense of Humor: We need to laugh more in life as we did as children without a care in the world. Especially when summer would start or the ice cream man’s truck would signal an irresistible treat that melted in your mouth like pure cream.
That comprised my list of the musts for Mr. Wonderful. And when I finally met him, the list became exactly who he was and still is today.
Growing up on the east coast, the best way to meet a man was always through family (believe it or not, there are still “arranged marriages!”) friends, clubs, church work or your own social network. I met my Mr. Wonderful through a friend. However, know that this way is not your only option finding someone to share your life with.

Internet dating has dramatically changed the way people meet and ultimately marry…even later in life! The latest statistics show that 1 out of 8 people, who meet on the Internet, ultimately marry.

Although I never had to go that route, many of my friends did. They are couples who would have never met because of distance or a variety of reasons, and they continue to enrich our lives today.

So don’t give up hope of finding your Mr. Wonderful. Sit down with a pen and pad and make your own list of the top qualities you’re looking for in a man. So, if you stay dedicated to your list and keep the faith, you will find your own Mr. Wonderful!

We invite all of you who are single and brides over 40 to find important resources and information with Elizabeth at

Author's Bio: 

Author Biography: Elizabeth Berberich
Elizabeth is president of Elizabeth James & Associates, Inc., and along with Marsha Connellan, is co-founder of Marrying Later in Life, a social networking web site, providing articles and advice about getting married after 40. She has a Masters Degree in Dietetics and does professional consulting internationally. Elizabeth has written articles for Bon Appétit, Los Angeles Times, NFL and numerous other publications. She has also appeared on television and given seminars to professional organizations. She is married and is currently finishing a book with Marsha on the same subject, “Marrying Later in Life.”