It has been said that although all human beings are equal on a deeper level, it doesn’t mean that this is the case on a more surface level. One thing that can give someone an upper hand in life is intelligence and another thing is attractiveness.

And while someone might only have one of these things, there is also the chance that they will have both. If this is the case, their appearance can make it easier for them to pull people in and their brain can allow them to keep them there.

Just One

Therefore, even if someone is not particularly intelligent but they are physically attractive, they are still likely to benefit. Their appearance can have a positive effect on their personal and professional life.

Both men and women can be drawn to them, with them wanting to be around someone who looks good. Also, even if someone is attractive but they are not intelligent, they can still be seen as being intelligent.

The Hallo Effect

What this shows is how much of an effect an attractive face can have on other people. Another person might not need any evidence to prove that an attractive person is intelligent; they can simply assume that this is so.

This is similar to how someone might not need proof that something is good if it has a logo on it that belongs to a certain brand. A person’s appearance, just like a brands logo, will send out a strong message.

Two Parts

Someone who is physically attractive can be like a bright flower to the people they come into contact with, brightening up their life. Not only can it make these people feel better, it can also have an effect on how they see themselves.

Thanks to the defence mechanism known as ‘identification’, they can attach themselves to them. One is then going to be physically separate from the attractive person, but their mind can cause them to believe that the other person is part of them.


Now, if someone is physically attractive, they may very well be someone who is a together human being. There will be the positive feedback that the world typically gives them and then there will be the love and support that is inside them.

They are then not going to be someone who has a false sense of importance; they will have their feet planted firmly on the ground. Consequently, being born attractive won’t be seen as something that makes them any better than anyone else.

Down To Earth

As a result of this, it will probably make it easier for them to maintain their relationships with others. They may be only too aware that being physically attractive is not enough to sustain a relationship.

But, just because they are not arrogant, it doesn’t mean that certain people won’t assume that this is so. If another person doesn’t take the time to get to know them, they might not be able to realise this.

Another Scenario

On the other hand, someone could be physically attractive, yet they could feel as though they are the complete opposite. How they look on the outside is then not going to match up with how they feel on the inside.

Deep down, they could feel as though they are completely worthless. Thus, no matter how much positive feedback they receive from others, it is not going to have much of an impact on how they see themselves.

An Addiction

What they could end up doing, in order to try to change how they feel, is to do what they can to receive approval from others. One of the ways that this can take place is by uploading endless pictures of themselves to different social media sites.

They won’t be able to internalise the approval that they do receive, which is why they need a constant stream of approval. It will be like they have black hole within them, with this being a hole that will never be filled.

How If This Possible

If someone is physically attractive, and is used to receiving positive feedback from others, it can be hard to understand why they wouldn’t feel good about themselves. Nonetheless, there would have been a time in their life when their appearance mattered little.

Before they grew into an attractive adult, they would have been a vulnerable and dependent child. During this time in their life, they may have had at least one parent who didn’t treat them very well.

A Traumatic Time

Perhaps this was a time in their life when they were verbally and/or physically abused. Being treated in this way would have caused them to experience a fair amount of shame and there would have been the disempowering beliefs that they formed.

They would then have felt as though there was something inherently wrong with who they are. Due to how they saw themselves, they may have ended up developing a false-self, and this may make it hard for them to connect with their shame as an adult.

A Mask

If this has taken place, it can be normal for them to come across as though they are more important than any else and to expect special treatment, amongst other things. Their narcissism will be a defence against the shame that has permeated their being.

Naturally, someone who believes that they are superior to others is less likely to get support than someone who feels inferior. But, as time passes and they gradually lose their looks, they may gradually come to accept that they need assistance.


If someone can see that they are carrying a lot of shame, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This can be provided by a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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