Creating Intimacy in New Relationships by Sharing Personal Information

There is a common belief that we should wait to tell our embarrassing, personal, or need-to-know information later on in the relationship, and this belief is true! But if you share some smaller personal information early in a relationship then you are creating more of an intimate relationship than if you wait for months or years to do so.

Personal information is something that is normally kept secret for a while, but is a common factor in all intimate relationships. When your relationship has moved past the 'best behavior' phase you begin to learn things about each other that create special ties between the two of you like trust, respect, and familiarity.

The great thing is that if you share a little bit of information about yourself earlier than normal you can create the illusion of a more intimate relationship which in turn speeds up the process towards a more intimate relationship. There are a few rules to this though.

First, do not share information about yourself that is appalling to the other person. For instance, do not tell them your bowel movement schedule and appearance so they know how bad your colon health is. That is information you don't want to share until you are deeper into a relationship.

Second, do not share past relationship information that may have them thinking twice about getting closer to you. Doing this only forms beliefs in their head about you and the way you handle relationships that may not necessarily come true in your new relationship.

For instance, do not tell them that your exes all think you are too clingy or your new love interest may escape the situation before they have to find out for themselves. The past is the past, and if you were clingy in your past relationships then that doesn't mean you are going to be like that in a new relationship, so keep it on the down-low and let your partner have their own story to tell about how clingy you are - or are not.

Lastly, do not share all of your past character flaws to your new love interest. These may be things that have chased away other relationships or just things that you are not proud of in general. They are past traits that are no longer in play or that you are trying to work on to get over. The issues you had before do not necessarily affect you now, and that's the beauty of a new relationship! You have the chance to correct your flaws and become someone better. But if you give them a glimpse of your past flaws they may not be able to look past it.