In relationship, the energy that passes between you and another person relies on the harmony and balance within you. This directly affects the level of energy and reserve you have for experiencing connection, motivation and shared values while taking care of your own life energy. Any interruption, disruption or shut-down of energy from stress, overwhelm or unfinished business in prior relationships within your body-mind system signals a need to look at your own energy patterns.

A way of explaining this can be found in the analogy of the workings of a lamp.

Are You Plugged In? A lamp can’t gain access to energy flow without being plugged into the electric source in the wall. In relationship terms this refers to how you resonate with what is healthy and loving for you. Are you feeding yourself healthy foods, thoughts, physical and spiritual nurturing? Is there an unresolved pattern of trauma, loss, shock or abuse that continues to cut you off from experiencing nourishment from healthy companionship and love?

Connection: The cord that runs from the wall to the lamp carries an electric current to help the lamp function. In relationship, keeping it going through spending time with each other, excitement, common goals, mutuality and ability to resolve conflict in a way that keeps it operating and moving towards growth and life-enhancing experience is key. No motivation=no energy to keep the relationship going.

Keeping the Love Light Burning: The light bulb itself holds the charge or space for the light to glow. In relationship, this is the ability to build on memories and activities that nourish gratitude, fun, compassion and love. This helps keep the attraction going even when there are difficulties or challenges. It’s an energy bank that helps you and your relationship thrive. Your thoughts, words and actions create wave frequency patterns. This also gets played out in relationships with posture, facial expressions, movements, feelings and handwriting.

When your actions are coherent they have a positive and strengthening effect on self and others. When your actions are non-coherent they have a weakening and life-depleting effect on self and others. Each person is a part of an interconnecting web of relationship.
Positive Resistance: If there’s too much resistance in a lamp in the connection between the filaments, the light bulb glows dimly or not at all. In relationship, this can express itself in feeling victimized, inability to set loving boundaries, depression or shutting down.

Being closed to positive suggestions or being unwilling to change patterns that could harm the relationship creates resistance. When there’s not enough resistance between the filaments, the energy surge creates a blow up that pops the bulb. In relationship, this is expressed through arguments, blame, and life-depleting habits that harm self and others. This not only depletes your life energy reserves, but also the capacity of reserves for your relationship.

When each person in a relationship is able to ground or release their energy in a way that is loving and energizing for self, greater opportunity for mutually energizing relationship is possible. This shows up in self-care through making space to process and nourish self. Examples include movement activities such as Tai Chi, taking a walk, working with breath, getting enough rest, getting in touch with needs, loving touch, getting into nature, expressing yourself through writing, art, music, singing, as well as honoring your life purpose.

Any part of the energy circuit can help show where you may need added support. When you release the resistance in your body-mind field that has disrupted your life energy, you then have greater capacity/space for love. You are only able to experience as much love as you allow yourself to acknowledge and resonate with internally. This happens through accessing the circuit itself within the body-mind field to optimize self-healing. In turn, this creates greater resonance with positive health, compassion, discernment, and loving relationship.

And now, I’d like to invite you to explore this topic more deeply.
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Author's Bio: 

Kimberly Rex, MS is a certified Resonance Repatterning practitioner, Person-Centered Expressive Therapist, and Master Wellness and Well-being Coach. She has worked with clients all over the world in-person,by phone, Skype and proxy for over 15 years. Find out more at