Defiant children need to be in control. Their power struggle can often make life tough for you. Keep in mind that defiant children are actually as apt to be under stress as more sensitive kids. In an effort to acquire a sense of security, they act defiant and give you a bossy attitude. To really feel independent your child may spend time away from you. You should be straightforward with them that you really love them in spite of their defiant actions.

Qualities of defiant children:

* Anger prone
* Acts resentful
* Spiteful
* Easily loses temper
* Vindictive
* Always starting arguments
* Refuses to follow rules
* Annoys people on purpose
* Others annoy them easily
* Blames other for their mistakes
* Defies teachers

There may be a time if your school contacts you about their conduct and due to a change from having decent grades to having terrible grades. It is very important not to punish defiant children with regards to behavior in class. It really is best that the teacher deals with this consequence so long as the child is not harming school property or resulting in bodily harm to anyone. If you punish them and the school punishes them, they are being disciplined a second time for the same thing.

Don't take away privileges and things that they love. As another solution, consider requiring good behavior from them for a specified length of time before they earn their toys and benefits back again. It's a powerful yet subtle difference. Rather than taking their video game away for two days, during which time they are able to act however they want, they have to have 2 days free of incident in order to earn their video game. If the child has an instance of poor conduct, the two days start again. Rather than "doing time" they are going to actively deciding on their behavior.

Helping Your defiant children:

* Always be clear about your goals and expectations. 
* Make the effort to make them aware when you are proud of them. 
* Teach them ways to resolve issues rather than telling them what to do. 
* Really mean anything you say. Do not simply make threats. 

Instead of telling defiant children everything you do not want them to do or to stop the things they're doing, actually tell them everything you DO prefer from them. "Quit pinching your sister," turns into, "please keep your hands and fingers to yourself." "Do not leave your dirty clothes on the bathroom floor," becomes, "please put your dirty clothes inside the hamper." Make certain you say that you're proud of them every time they comply. Make a point to say the words please and thank you when you're speaking with your kids and expect them to do the same.

Making a point of looking for good behavior could be the most difficult work ahead of you. Compliment your defiant children any time you catch them doing something correctly. Actually tell them, "I love that you...thank you," or "You did...great. Way to go!"They want to know that they are making good choices and that you notice. You ought to be praising them a lot more than criticizing them, which would mean if they are in trouble quite a lot you have got your work cut out for you.

Sometimes coping with defiant children seems like it can be much more than you'll be able to deal with. That's not true, but you could experience these feelings. Your perception as well as your attitude are very important whenever coping with defiant children. Your child really needs you to lead them and if you do not think you can do it, you are likely to prove yourself right. There's nothing wrong with requesting guidance from someone experienced with being able to help children and their parents. You can always seek out more help whenever you believe you are needing it.

Author's Bio: 

Will Matthews is an authority at fixing your family concerns. Looking for Happy Child Guide reviews? Find out much more about defiant children on the Zero To Family web site and get recommendations pertaining to parenting as well as information on The Happy Child Guide by Ashley Ryan and Dr. Blaise Ryan.