Have you ever worked hard to lose extra pounds, and celebrated, “Woohoo! I’ll never again be overweight!”, then regained the weight you’d wanted to ditch? Most clients who come to me about weight loss issues are surprised at how easily they lose weight because we DON’T focus on losing weight during their coaching sessions.

For years, these people have been trying to lose weight using all kinds of diets and exercise routines. They already know about how they “should” eat, exercise, etc. . . . and that’s part of the problem. Their inner critic is “shoulding” on them . . . sometimes nonstop.

Even when these individuals lost weight in the past, the pounds they didn’t want returned to them like flies at a picnic. Why?  Because weight gain that isn’t related to hormonal imbalance or another abnormal physical condition is just a symptom. It’s not the problem. When we don’t deal with the true causes of excess weight, we unconsciously hold onto our fat, as if it’s heavy armor protecting us from possible harm.

A direct approach to weight loss, like “Don’t eat carbs after 6 pm” or “Count your calories” is sometimes effective for very short-term weight loss, like trying to shed 5 pounds before a major event. However, unless the genuine reason for accumulating or holding onto excess pounds is addressed, your inner critic will cause you to self-sabotage. Maybe you’ll binge eat or lie to yourself about your eating habits. You may sneak food and then feel anxiety, depression or guilt. The weight you dropped will steadily return. Then, your inner critic will jab you with a message that deeply hurts and shames, like “You’re worthless” or “You’re a failure.”

The indirect approach to weight loss has the opposite effect. For one thing, your weight loss journey is enjoyable because you become The World’s Leading Expert on YOU. You discover what you truly need so you can become the confident, empowered person you are destined to become. In a warm, supportive environment, you drop self-judgments, which are a self-created prison.

In coaching, we focus on elevating your self-love because, when you truly love yourself, you only do what’s best for you. We also make sure you’re surrounded by the loving support network you need and deserve. You develop a brand new connection with your physical body that is so rewarding that you listen intently to its clues about what you need to eat and when.

Nutritional needs are so individualized that rigid, one-size-fits-all diets don’t work long-term. Intuitive eating is well-researched. One of the reasons that it’s successful is because you stop allowing your inner critic to judge, shame and sabotage you. Instead, you talk to yourself in a nurturing, loving tone of voice.

During coaching, we explore your inner critic so you can accelerate your self-awareness and self-acceptance. You discover how to use your shadow side as a positive tool instead of allowing it to sabotage your mood, motivation and success. This elevates your confidence and self-esteem.

During my years of coaching clients who wanted to lose weight, the indirect approach produced the dependable and long-lasting results they wanted. Once they explored the reasons they were unconsciously adding or maintaining pounds, they were free. Many lost over 60 unwanted pounds and maintained their weight loss. That’s why I highly encourage you to explore the proven indirect approach to the long-lasting weight loss you want. This includes turning your inner critic into an inner coach, becoming very clear that you deserve to have what you want in life when you’re working, in your relationships and leisure time. The rewards are endless.

What’s the moral of this true story? Sometimes the indirect approach is the most direct way to gain the success, fitness, confidence and inner peace you want, including a body image that makes you smile.


In the Kindle ebook, “Conquer Your Inner Critic,” you discover how to turn your inner critic into a weight-loss tool instead of being trapped by its negative voice. When you read this book, you’ll gain an innovative, freedom-producing approach that emerged from years of work with hundreds of coaching clients who were facing the same challenges you’re struggling with. Like you, they were haunted by critical self-talk. Negative comments from the external world mirrored the putdowns of their inner critic.

Are you truly ready to calm the crippling voice of your inner critic and enjoy even more self-love and personal power? Take advantage of a proven program tested by hundreds of clients before sharing the tools with you. You’ll gain special value from the illustrations and the workbook that are part of the book. Order “Conquer Your Inner Critic” at

Author's Bio: 

© Excerpted with permission from the #1 Bestselling Book, “Conquer Your Inner Critic” by Doris Helge, Ph.D. You may reprint this article as long as it is in tact and proper attribution is given.

You may have seen Dr. Doris interviewed on "The Today Show," CNN and NPR. Doris Helge, Ph.D. is the #1 Bestselling Author of books like ‘”Transforming Pain Into Power  --  Making the Most of Your Emotions,” “Conquer Your Inner Critic,” and "Joy on the Job." 

She was named “One of the Top Ten Coaches in America” at an event in New York City, Dr. Doris has helped thousands of people via her coaching and teleclasses. Sign up to receive the “More Joy for Me Newsletter” at