Often in life we encounter some of the most beautiful and charismatic people that we seem to mesh with instantly; however, there’s a serious challenge that comes attached to these relationships and it can be a huge hurdle to overcome.

In psychic readings, I find this to be an extremely common occurrence in readings: a loved one is incapable of living completely in the present. Sadly, these otherwise amazing individuals are emotional prisoners of the past.

Past heartbreaks, past setbacks in their careers, past “what-could-have-been” regrets - they are perceived in psychic readings to be literally stuck wallowing in. They are so focused in looking back and agonizing it’s as if they actually still live in the past.

And for all intents and purposes, that’s exactly what they’re doing.

How to cope with someone you love who is still so focused on the past?

First, realize: It isn’t going to be an easy task. In fact, far from it. After all, you’re dealing with someone who is essentially looking backward as they try to walk toward the future. They are still so mired in the past that they are stumbling and can’t see where they are going.

The reality is that they can barely see daylight in terms of a new day and a new way of thinking for their lives in the future.

All you can realistically do is try to lead them toward a new start, where they are able to begin looking forward instead of being entirely caught up in the past. And the cards, as I’ve discovered over these many years giving psychic readings to countless numbers of those who are trying to cope with a partner, friend or family member who is so fixated on the past, will be a strong guiding force in that respect.

For instance, when the cards indicate that you can make a new start possible with that person, you surge forward aggressively to enable that to happen. You inspire that loved one to focus on the “here and now” by telling them in no uncertain terms that you understand the past was painful BUT - it’s time to find closure and move on.

When the cards indicate that you can’t budge such a person no matter how hard you may try, it’s time to give up the struggle and allow that individual to work through the pain of the past on his or her own. He or she might even need professional help to accomplish this in their lives.

Psychically speaking, some will never stop living in the past.

Such difficulty in turning away from the past and living in the present is perceived in readings to be an emotional mountain such individuals simply have to conquer on their own. Some will and some won’t. It can often take a terribly long period of time for those fixated so intently on the past to genuinely change and shift that focus in terms of their lives.

Sometimes the loss of you and the precious relationship shared with you will be enough to snap that individual out of a fixation with the past. I have to admit such a sudden turn-about in terms of focus isn’t generally the norm. Typically, these individuals are dragging with them such a huge amount of personal baggage in terms of the past that if you stay and try too hard, you’ll only find yourself sucked into their own continuing melodrama.

Definitely not what you want to do. It will only make you feel frustrated and terribly helpless in the long run. You have to safeguard your own emotional health, after all.

You are far better off, as the cards will faithfully support when you’re dealing with someone still caught up in the past and can’t disconnect him or herself from it, to lovingly back away and attempt to go forward with your own life.

If the two of you are meant to reconnect once the past for that individual has been resolved, the future will bring the two of you together.

That is one of the most empowering aspects of this method of psychically reading ordinary playing cards on which you can rely: Despite the hardships that may be encountered along the way, what is meant to be will be.

This is where faith and hope is so vitally important. You must believe what you perceive in the cards and follow their guidance – otherwise, why even receive psychic readings at all?

The best course of action you can ever take in such a relationship comes from knowing that when you allow others in your life to take their own journey toward understanding and personal growth in their own way and time, a better partner, friend or family member will be the end result – embracing you and returning your love and care once that journey is over.

I’ve witnessed this kind of transformation more times than I can tell you over the past three decades of conducting readings for myself and others. Especially when it comes to those who feel compelled to live in the past because of their own heartaches and unresolved pain.

They need our compassion and our ability to step back when it’s required to allow them to find their way from living in the past to embracing the present and turning themselves completely toward the future.

The best part is, they love us that much more for having such insight and understanding once they are able to get their lives back on track.

Author's Bio: 

New Age guide and author of "The Message: Your Secrets in the Cards", O Books. Take Deborah Leigh's free course in Personal Prophesy Card Reading(TM) at psychiclovedoctor.com. It's fun, fascinating and revealing!

Deborah Leigh is the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to New Age. You can find complete information on Deborah and her products by visiting Psychiclovedoctor.com.