For some people, feeling safe is just going to be part of life and this is likely to allow them to embrace life. However, for others, this is going to be something that they seldom experience and, due to this, it will be a challenge for them to embrace life.

What this illustrates is how important it is for someone to feel safe in their own body if they want to live a fulfilling life. Now, regardless of whether someone does or doesn’t feel safe, they might not be consciously aware of how they experience life.

In The Background

Even so, what is going on for them is going to have a massive impact on their life. If they do feel safe, it could be said that it won’t matter if they are aware of the fact that they do feel safe as they are likely to be living a life that is worth living.

If they don’t feel safe but are not consciously aware of this, it is going to matter because they probably won’t be able to live a life that is worth living. Here, one will suffer but they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak.

One Consequence

By not feeling safe, they can have the tendency to be in their head when they are around others. Most likely, this is something that will automatically take place without them needing to do anything.

As a result of this, they are going to lose touch with their true self, so their needs and feelings. Who they are will then be covered up and how they come across won’t reflect what is truly going on for them.


Along with this, they can often feel the need to pull away from others and be by themselves. This won’t mean that they will have to go into their head but at the same time, it doesn’t mean that they will inhabit their body.

By being in their own company, they are likely to find that they feel more at ease. On the other hand, when they are around others, they can often experience fear and anxiety.

An Unstable Existence

If this is the case, for them to settle down, it will be necessary for them to get away from their fellow human beings. Therefore, other people won’t be seen as having the ability to regulate them; they will be seen as having the ability to dysregulate them.

So, either leaving their body around others or getting away from them, will be the way for them to keep it together and survive. For their life to change, it will be necessary for them to step back and reflect on their life.

The First Part

If this was to take place, they could come to the conclusion that they have anxiety problems. It could go even further than this, though, and they could come to believe that they have an anxiety disorder.

If they live in a society that is very mind-centred, what is going on for them is likely to be seen as being a consequence of what is going on up top. Thus, by changing their thoughts and exercising, for instance, they will be able to change how they experience life.

The Second Part

This approach might or might not work and, even if it does, it might not last for very long. If it doesn’t work, it could cause them to take a deeper look into what is going on.

During this time, they could think about what their early years were like and see that this was a time when they were not treated very well. Then again, they might look back on this stage of their life and find that it was fine.


If the latter takes place, it could show that due to how traumatic it was, they have blocked out what really took place. This would have automatically taken place to protect them and allow them to keep it together.

If their defences were to fall away, they could end up getting into contact with a lot of painful memories and inner material. Irrespective of if one can see that their early years were anything but loving straight away or after a while, it will allow them to see why they don’t feel safe enough to inhabit their body and to exist.

Back In Time

This may have been a time when they were physically harmed by at least one caregiver. The person who was supposed to show them love and care and to provide a safe and secure environment would have done the opposite.

This caregiver would have been feared and created a home environment that was full of chaos and pain. Through being totally powerless and dependent at this stage of their life, one wouldn’t have been able to leave or to fight back.

Totally Defenceless

Their only way to handle what was going on was to leave their body or to hide in their room, for instance. Both of these wouldn’t have stopped what was taking place but they would have stopped them from being aware of what was going on.

The arousal that they experienced, through being harmed, would have been stored in their body and as time passed, one would have ended up being extremely shut down and frozen. What happened all those years ago will be over but they will continue to be in a deeply traumatised state.

Moving Forward

What is taking place in their mind, along with the anxiety that they experience, will just be the tip of the iceberg. Under what is going on at this level will be an emotional body that is loaded with pain and a physical body that has a nervous system that is overloaded.

By being there and providing each part with what it needs, they will be able to gradually develop a felt sense of safety and security. In time, they will know that they deserve and that it is safe enough for them to exist and to inhabit their body.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to -

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -