One thing that someone may find, that’s if they were abused and/or neglected as a child, is that it is hard for them to stand their ground. In other words, it will be a challenge for them to be assertive.

As a result of this, it will be normal for other people to walk over them and for them to do things that they would rather not do. They are then rarely going to put themselves forward and to go for things that are in alignment with who they are.

No Way to Live

Through living in this way, there is a strong chance that one will know what it feels like to feel frustrated and angry. Still, most of the people in their life could seldom see this side of them.

The reason for this is that one could typically hide behind a mask; a mask where they are happy to go along with what other people want. One is then not going to be happy with how their life is, but they will be very good at hiding this fact.

No Other Option

Living in this way is going to mean that they are miserable on the inside, but they could believe that there is absolutely nothing that they can do about it. If this is so, it could show that one sees themselves as a victim.

Other people are going to be treating them badly and the only way that their life will change is if other people change. One may even believe that the world is against them and that they are being punished for no reason.


This could illustrate that one is not even aware of what took place during their early years, with what took place being something that their mind has completely blocked out. What this is likely to show is that if they were to remember what took place, it would be too much for them to handle.

Their mind will then have stopped them from being able to remember what took place to protect them, but what took place will still be affecting their life. Therefore, if they were able to join the dots, so to speak, and to see why their life is the way that it is, their life could change.

Another Experience

At the same time, if one was to become aware of how their early years are affecting their adult years, it doesn’t mean that their life would be any different. One could believe that the reason they were treated badly at this stage of their life is because they are bad.

Through being so immersed in what took place, one will be a prisoner of what took place all those years ago. In order for their life to change, they will need to take a step back and to detach from the part of them that believes this.

The Truth

By doing this, it will give them the chance to see that what took place all those years ago had nothing to do with who they were. In reality, what took place was a reflection of what was taking place for their parent/s.

As they were egocentric at this stage of their life, it would have caused them to take everything personally. Not only would they have taken everything personally, they would have also created a number of beliefs.

Keeping the Past Alive

Nonetheless, although these were just beliefs, now that they are an adult these beliefs will be having a massive impact on their life. There will be the effect that these beliefs have on how they see themselves and others.

There is the chance that some of the beliefs that were formed accurately reflected what was taking place at this stage of their life. Yet, now that this stage of their life has passed, these beliefs will be part of what is preventing them from letting go of what took place and putting the past well and truly behind them.

The Meaning

So when it comes to what they went through as a child, they can have some, if not all, of the following beliefs:

• That if they are assertive they will be harmed
• That if they are assertive they will be rejected
• That if they are assertive they will be abandoned
• That if they are assertive they will die
• That it is not safe for them to be assertive
• That if they are assertive they will be ignored

Not the Truth

Unless these beliefs are changed, it is not going to be possible for them to assert themselves. Doing so will be seen as being too much of a risk, causing them to continue to behave in the same way.

It is going to be essential for them to bring these beliefs out into the light and for them to let them go. This is what will allow them to stand their ground and to go after what is in alignment with who they are, without feeling as though their life is under threat.


If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

In addition to working through what they believe, they may also have emotional wounds to heal and trauma to resolve. This will be a time when they will be healing their mental body, emotional body, and physical body.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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