Although someone will have been given the gift of life, it doesn’t mean that they will see their life as a gift. Thanks to how they generally experience life, it could be seen as a curse and as something that they have to endure.

What this can show is that they have the tendency to experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety. If so, they might often isolate themselves from others and only go out when they have to.

One Area

Going to work, assuming that they have a job, could be one of the main reasons why they leave their home. This could be a job that is anything but fulfilling and could simply ‘pay the bills’.

When they are there, they could often be walked over and not treated like a valuable human being. They are then not going to be a slave and will be free to assert themselves or to leave, but they won’t realise this.


When it comes to their relationships, assuming that they have friends and not just associates, this could also be a time when they are walked over and not valued or respected. Once again, they could simply tolerate what is going on and not assert themselves.

If they do think about cutting their ties with someone who is undermining them, that could be about as far as it will go. Some if not all of the people in their life are then not going to be good for them but that won’t matter.

Emotional State

Along with experiencing a fair amount of anxiety and fear, they could often feel hopeless and helpless and even think about ending their life. This will show that they don't believe that they can do anything to change their life.

Furthermore, it could often be as though it is them against the world and they just need to do the best that they can to survive. If so, they are going to be all alone and not part of the human family.

A Few Experiences

If they were to look back on their life, they may find that there have been times when they have been physically harmed by others. During this time, they may have felt terrified and as though their life was going to come to an end.

If they have had these experiences, it might have made it even harder for them to live as they lived before and to function. For example, it might have made it harder for them to leave their home and caused them feel even edgier.

Another Element

Thanks to the amount of time that they are in a fearful and anxious state, they might seldom be aware of their needs and feelings. And, when they are not in this state, they could simply feel numb and disconnected.

As a result, they will spend a lot of time in a disembodied state and live on the surface of themselves. It could be said that for their life to change, not only will they need to believe that it can be changed but to get angry enough to propel themselves into action.

Stepping Back

At this point, what is clear is that this is someone who is not in a good way. So, regardless of what they look like on the outside, they are going to be like a car that has been in a serious accident.

If this is how they have been for as long as they can remember, how they experience life will just what is normal and they might believe that they were merely born this way. Nonetheless, what this can show is that their formative years were anything but nurturing.

A Brutal Time

Throughout this stage of their life, they may have been physically harmed. Yet, to allow them to keep it together and function, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and the arousal that they experienced.

This is then why they won’t have been able to join the dots, so to speak, and to see why they are in such a bad way as an adult. If they didn’t have this ability, they would probably no longer be alive.

Totally Helpless

As they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on or to find another family who could love and provide them with the safety and security that they needed. Along with their brain moving things out of their conscious awareness, they would have gone into a shut down, collapsed, disconnected and frozen state.

This would have estranged them from their true self and separated them from the part of them that exists to keep them alive, among other things – their aggression/fight instinct. It wasn’t safe enough for them to exist and express themselves, and this is why they had to leave their body and go up top and to lose touch with their self-preservation instinct.

It wasn’t their fault

How they were treated would have been personalised, as they were egocentric, but the truth is that how they were treated had absolutely nothing to do with their worth or lovability. It was a reflection of how wounded one or both of their parents were.

For them to know, at the core of their being, that they are valuable and lovable and that it is safe for them to exist, they will probably need to do a lot of work on themselves. This will take patience, persistence and courage.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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