If someone was to step back and reflect on their life, what might soon stand out is that they generally don’t feel the need to be around another or others. They could find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

Therefore, they are likely to spend a lot of time by themselves and if they do end up spending time with another or others, it could be because someone reached out to them. What could enter their mind is that they enjoy their own company and don’t need others.

External Feedback

Over the years, they may have been asked if they enjoy living in this way and if they ever get lonely. Along with this, they may have been criticised and even seen as being a bit strange.

This could be how some of their friends and family have seen them, and, if so, it will show that these people live in a different way. Furthermore, it will illustrate that some of these people are not very empathetic or understanding.

Another part

However, although living this way will be what feels comfortable, it doesn’t mean that they won’t have moments when they feel very low. For a while, they might have done their best to handle what is going on but, as time has passed, it could be harder for them to do this.

This could be what will cause them to look into why they are experiencing life in this way and what they can do about it. In the beginning, they could conclude that they suffer from depression.

One Route

If this is what takes place, they could end up being put on some kind of medication and even meditating. After going down this path, they may find that they no longer feel as low but that they don’t feel great either.

This might allow them to carry on as normal or they could find that they are unable to go back to how they were. Alternatively, they could look into why they are depressed and what they can do about it, as opposed to taking anything.

Another Reason

Now, after looking deeper into what is going on, they could find that they are missing out on the human contact that they need. What could stand out is that although they behave like an independent human being, they are an interdependent human being that needs others.

Consequently, not spending much time around others will cause them to miss out on the nutrients that they need to be at their best. So, just as they need to eat and sleep, they will need to be around people that can attune to them.


Still, even though this will be clear, they might not feel a strong urge to spend more time around others. A big part of them could want to carry on as they are and have no interest in spending more time around others.

This will show that they are experiencing inner conflict and that they are not just going to be able to change their behaviour. To find out what is going on, they are going to need to go deeper inside themselves.

A Closer Look

If they were to imagine that they were to reach out to others, this could be a time when they will feel uncomfortable. They could soon feel the need to get away and be by themselves.

At this point, they could wonder why something that should feel comfortable feels uncomfortable. What this may show is that their early years were not very nurturing and the information that would shed light on what this stage of their life was like is outside of their conscious awareness.

Back In Time

Throughout this period of their life, they may have been wounded in a variety of ways by one or both of their parents. They may have be physically harmed, verbally put down and neglected.

Ultimately, they wouldn’t have been brought up in an environment where they felt safe, secure or loved. This would have deprived them of the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

The Outcome

But, as they were powerless and totally dependent, there was absolutely nothing that they could do about what was going on. Their only option was to adapt to what was going on and this would have involved them losing touch with a number of their needs and feelings and becoming disembodied.

They would have been provided with a very dysfunctional model of what their fellow human beings are like, with how one or two people behaved being seen as how everyone would behave. What took place would have also stopped them from developing a felt sense of trust in others.

A Brutal Time

This stage of their life would have caused them to experience a lot of pain and losing touch with their body would have been a way for them to handle what was going on. For them to reconnect to their need for human contact and feel comfortable being around others, they will probably need to work through this pain.

This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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