Can Your Marriage Ever Be The Same Again: Can A Marriage Go Back To Normal After Cheating - How To Have A Healthy Relationship After Cheating
You have reached a crisis point in your marriage, and you are struggling with the question, can your marriage ever be the same again?
If only you could travel back through time to how things used to be. Life was great up until your spouse cheated on you. You loved your marriage, it gave your life real meaning. And whilst your spouse whines out their excuses, they probably loved the marriage as well. Just think about all the great times that you had together. After such a betrayal, will you ever experience that sense of being again?
Can your marriage ever be the same again? Is it not possible to go back to the way that things were before you found out about the affair? I wonder how many times that question has been asked and how many times it will be asked?
You might be wishing that you could go back to how things were, but ask yourself this question, why?
Somewhere in the good old days there was a problem, and that problem caused your spouse to have an affair.
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For whatever reason your spouse made the conscious decision to have an affair. There might have been problems with your marriage but they decided that the best way to deal with it was to have an affair. Whatever your spouse says or implies, it is not your fault that they had an affair, the responsibility is all theirs.
You need to stop thinking about returning to a situation that is preparing the ground for where you are now. Something back then gave your spouse justification for their subsequent actions.
Can your marriage ever be the same again? Not if you want it to survive.
I have no doubt that you and your spouse had some fantastic times. There were probably happy vacations, quiet walks, romantic dinners, fun dates, and just being curled up in front of the T.V together. It gave you a sense of peace, of belonging, of fulfillment. With some justification you thought that you had a marriage that worked.
Everyone always seems to look back at the good old days as this wonderful place where everything was perfect. Rubbish. Everything will not be okay if your marriage can go back to what it was before the affair. Do not live in the past, you have to look to the future and how you can change your marriage for the better.
Life continually drives us forward. Each new day gives us fresh life experiences to work through and to learn from. What has happened has happened, and you need to be able to leave it in the past. You need to be able to honestly ask yourself how you want things in the future to be? You could be together for decade, so you need build a marriage that will make those years happy and fulfilling.
Can your marriage ever be the same again? I hope that you realize that it cannot. You need to be able to accept that fact in order to be able to move on. You will never have the same relationship with your spouse that you once had. It is not all doom and gloom as your relationship can become stronger than ever.
The affair has happened, you cannot pretend that it did not happen, and for a time it will cast a shadow over your marriage.
You will never forget the affair. If you work at healing your marriage you will be able to push it to the back of your mind and the pain will get less. However, no matter how deeply it is hidden, now matter how well your marriage goes, once in a while you will remember it.
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If your are determined to take your marriage forward then make it better than it ever was, make it the marriage that you had always hoped for. It is possible to rebuild your marriage so that you experience something more loving, happy, caring, and fulfilling than ever you had before the affair.
Whilst it can be difficult to believe, those couples who do the necessary work to heal their marriages create an environment where they can turn their marriage into something truly special. They feel safe, content, and happy with each other. They learn to love each other all over again. What more could you ask for?
To move forward you have to is believe right at your very core that you want a better marriage, now and forever. Once you have that understanding then you can finally start to work at making it happen.
There are four things that you need to start building your new life together. No surprises when I say that the first and most important thing that you need is love. If you do not love each other, then your marriage will not grow. Love is the key stone to any true relationship. If you do not have love then you do not have that deep connection that is so necessary for a successful and meaningful marriage. You must be committed to your marriage and its healing. Both of you need to be committed to each other and the desire to build a better marriage. If only one of you is committed to saving your marriage then it will be difficult, if not impossible to save your marriage. This will take hard work. This is not going to be easy and it will take time. If you are trying to get over an affair, or any other problems, you will both have to work at strengthening your marriage for what could be months. That is life. But still, once what you do becomes habit then it will get easier.... You need knowledge. You could have all the love and commitment in the world, but if you do not know how to make your marriage better, then it might never happen. So long as you have love, commitment, and are ready to work hard then you can find the knowledge that you need.
It might sound deceptively simple but those four factors are all you need to get the ball rolling and create the marriage that you want.
To succeed you both have to have love, commitment and the capacity for hard work. Nobody can give them to you. This is your relationship, your marriage, your future. My personal belief is that if you have something worth saving then you should do whatever it takes. It might take effort, it might take a long time, but if you can make your marriage into something truly special, then you have something that is beyond value.
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After years of being married, a lot of couples begin to seek advice for marriage. Usually, serious relationship problems come when couples have been together for a number of years. Some, even just after a few months!
If you are planning to get married or you already are and you are looking for marriage advice, allow me to give you some tips that can help you keep a happy marriage.
Things You Can Do for a Happy Marriage...
At the start of most marriages, couples tend to set daily routines. Everything is well planned thinking that they can be happy doing the same things each day for as long as they are together. However, you may get tired of doing the same things over and over which may result to a lot of arguments that are not even significant.
If you find yourself in this situation, then you should try to shake things up. Getting married does not mean that you have to be together in everything that you do all the time. You can try spending some time with different hobbies or go out with your friends. Have a little space from each other. When the day ends, you both can talk about each other's new experiences which can bring back the energy and spark to your relationship.
Patience is a Virtue...Advice for a Happy Marriage...
Being in a long marriage requires a lot of patience. As years go by, you will go through a ton of arguments which may result to the both of you saying really angry words at each other which you don't really mean. These words are not easily forgotten and can affect your relationship bad enough to ruin your marriage.
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You don't want to get to the point when your day doesn't end without an insignificant argument. One of the best pieces of advice for marriage I can give you is to be as patient as you can. If both of you have conflicting opinions, respect each other's opinions and resolve your problems by calmly communicating with each other. Always listen. Your problems will not be resolved by your anger. Think before reacting. All can be resolved with just a simple talk.
Change for the Better... Advice for Making Your Marriage Work for the Long Haul
As your marriage stretches to a year or two, you start to discover some things you dislike about each other. It is always best to talk about them with each other so they can be changed. In addition, if you know you are at fault, learn to apologize. Saying sorry means a lot and it says a lot about your attitude and personality. After apologizing, show your partner that you will change not just by telling him but by your actions.
Being married is not as simple as it seems that is why a lot of couples seek advice for marriage in order to keep their relationships long and happy. Trying out new things, being patient with each other, and changing for the better are just a few of a lot of things you can do to keep your marriage happy.
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Marriage is bound to change from year-to-year. When a couple first walks down the aisle they can expect things to be rosy for a time. Hence, the honeymoon phase we all hear about. It's the time when a couple celebrates their love and discovers many new and exciting things about each other. That phase slowly morphs into real life and the small pressures that impact every married couple will begin to pop up. For some couples, drifting apart during this time feels inevitable. The emotional connection that was once there starts to feel weaker and unless something is done, the marriage will eventually be so strained it will be at risk of falling apart. If you're beginning to feel some distance between you and your spouse now, you have to take measures to change it.
Once you start to feel that something is shifting within your relationship you have to determine why it's happened. If there is an issue that you two are constantly butting heads on, try and find a solution that works for you both. Compromise is that the center of every successful marriage and it's something that you're going to have to introduce into your relationship too.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!
Maybe the issue is more about the two of you just not making each other a priority in life. This happens sometimes without the couple even fully realizing it. Tending to all the things that are required to keep a home and family running smoothly can be time consuming and something will generally have to suffer. In some cases, that something is the marriage and unless one or both partners works to remedy that, the relationship will continue to suffer instead of flourish.
If you want to build a stronger marriage you have to put in the time and effort to make that happen. You must focus some attention each and every day on your partner. That has to be uninterrupted time when the two of you can talk about all the issues at hand. That may be a chat about what's going on at work or who is going to be shuttling the children to ball practice. In addition, you also have to make the effort to talk about your relationship with one another. Unless that is nurtured with the proper attention it deserves, it's going to inevitably fail. Talk to your partner about making time for you two to spend alone together. It will make a tremendous difference and you'll feel much less like you're drifting apart.
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Have you been ignoring marital problems or the signs that your marriage has turned bad? No one wants to be in a bad marriage but it is easy to ignore the signs because for some folks it also means avoiding dealing with marriage issues.
It's always a huge struggle when you get to the point in your marriage where the signs are so obvious that you can no longer ignore them. Unfortunately, by the time you get to this phase in your marriage, there is a good chance that it's going to take a lot more work to change your bad marriage to a great one.
Signs Of A Bad Marriage
1. If you find yourself mentally and emotional detached from your spouse then this is a clear sign of problems in your marriage and an indication that things are bad. Dreaming of life as a newly singled individual and spending time wondering who you will date or start a new relationship with is a dangerous road to be traveling down.
2. You have more bad days than good. If you are on cloud nine because you had one day of peace in your home and marriage it's a signal that something needs to change. You should be shocked and caught off guard when you have a bad day not when you have a good or normal day in your relationship.
3. If you have no desire to talk with your spouse it's a warning sign. The one person in your life you should feel close to and comfortable talking to is your spouse. If your relationship is such that it's painful to hold conversations with your spouse (regardless of the topic) it's a sign of a bad marriage.
4. Every conversation ends in a debate or argument. When you are in a situation where you are not happy, it's easy to find fault with any and everything. If one or both of you find it necessary to criticize and constantly be negative about stuff then you might be in a bad marriage.
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5. Not spending intimate time together is a sign of marriage trouble and one that can lead to other problems. Married couples, who find it difficult to make time for each other sexually, obviously need to work out some marriage issues. The danger of not working through the issues is potentially one spouse seeking fulfillment outside of the marriage.
What to do about the signs of a bad marriage?
My suggestion to you is that you learn how to recognize the signs and use a mix of common sense and the experiences of others to remove the junk that's bad for your marriage.
• Figure out what's making you frustrated in your marriage and start to deal with the issues. Some of them can be addressed by you alone and others require some action by your spouse. Once you identify the frustrating areas in your marriage you will be able to remove them.
• Make sure you communicate with your spouse about the bad signs in your marriage. Don't make your spouse feel like you are complaining about the marriage issues but rather that you are trying to do what's right for your marriage and family. It shouldn't be a surprise to your spouse that you have some problems that need addressing. In fact, your spouse has probably been ignoring the signs of a bad marriage.
One of the keys to dealing with signs of a bad marriage is to find the solutions that work best for you and your spouse. For some that solution comes in the form of marriage counseling and perhaps workshops for married couples. For others, the answers are found in confiding with family and friends.
It's important to deal with your marriage problems before they get so numerous and overwhelming that you lose all hope in ever being able to overcome them.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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