Can Your Dreams about a Wonderful Intimate Relationship Materialize?

It is wonderful to dream and fantasize about a wonderful relationship with a wonderful person. Who wouldn’t want to be involved with a great intimacy? But often, when you meet someone, even if at the beginning of the relationship you believe you have indeed seen your dream come true, slowly but surely you begin to realize this is not the case. Reality is different. At the beginning you might try to ignore this fact, to claim that what you notice is only temporary and to hope that, eventually, all will go smoothly as per your dream.

But the truth of the matter is, dreams are always different than reality.

Why is there always a discrepancy between dreams and reality?

In the dream you “design” your potential partner and relationship the way you want them to be. You fantasize and think about “the best scenario possible”. These make you excited and hopeful. But then, when you meet someone, the relationship you develop is created by the two of you. Not all the dream’s parts come into place. There is a gap between the “dream” and the reality. If you continue to hang on to your dream, fantasies and expectations you get disillusioned, frustrated and disappointed: this is not what you thought might develop between the two of you This often leads to you blaming you partner.

But think about it this way: just as you have your own dream, so does your partner has a dream of his/her own. And your dreams might not be the same. Many factors come into place in your dreams, not the least of all are your perception of how a “good” relationship “should” look like and what does a “perfect” match mean.

As long as you hang on to your dream and insist of having it come true, you might get disillusioned with each and every relationship you will try to develop. And how often can you blame your partners? And how often can you think to yourself “it is only because you didn’t find the right partner yet”?

Dreams might represent an intimacy to strive for, but…

As much as dreams might represent a wonderful intimacy to strive for, approaching relationships with some flexibility is essential. It is important to understand that not the “whole” dream can come into play in the relationship; that give-and-take are crucial in a satisfying relationship; that fantasies and expectations might give you some direction of the way you would like your relationship to look like, but they are only a general guidelines, and the intimacy that you develop will, undoubtedly, deviate in its details from these guidelines.

This all means you don’t have to dream and to fantasize. That you don’t have to strive for the best intimacy you can develop. It does say, however, that when you begin going out with someone, be aware of whether your initial dreams, fantasies and expectations stand in your way form fully enjoying the relationship; whether they drive you to place demands on your partner; whether your quickly become disappointed if your initial dream doesn’t materialize.

After all, your dream is your own invention. And the relationship is the creation of the two of you together. Sharing your dreams with one another and coming towards each other is an art all by itself, which can lead you to a wonderful intimacy.