Many people often try to change others directly or indirectly and couples are guilty of that. How many times have you seen husbands try to change their wives? How many wives try to change their husbands?

What do couples mean when they ask their partner to change? What they usually mean is that there are some behaviors and habits about their partners that they don’t like. If their partner changes their behavior in those situations they would be happier in the relationship.

Jennifer complains that her boyfriend of 5 years is trying to change the way she dresses. She likes to wear tank tops and short skirts. He argues with her all the time and tells her to wear long skirts and shirts with sleeves instead. Jennifer is upset and feels that her boyfriend is trying to change who she is and the way she dresses despite the fact that she has informed him to accept her the way she is and the way she dresses.

What Jennifer’s boyfriend doesn’t realize is that if he changes his attitude about the situation and shows his unconditional love for her, she might have stopped wearing short skirts and tank tops.

Once upon a time there was a man who wanted to change the world and stayed trying for 20 years. Once he realized he can’t change the world, he decided to change the country, but couldn’t do it. When he found he couldn’t change his country, then he decided to change his city for 5 years and didn’t succeed. Afterwards, he wanted to change his family, but couldn’t. At the end, he realized that he has to change himself and that is the only thing he can change.

This man realized that if long ago he had changed himself, he could have made an impact on his family. His family and him could have made an impact on the town where they live in. Their impact could have changed the country and could indeed have changed the world.

As I mentioned in my book “How to win your lover’s heart”, real change always comes from within. It doesn’t come by force. You can advise your wife, husband, children, colleagues, but at the end, it is up to that person to change. Change comes from within all the time.

You might ask, “If I can’t change my partner, what can I do?” The best thing you can do that could make your partner accept your suggestions is by giving your lover indirect and subtle messages, so their subconscious mind accepts the messages.

For example, if you want your girlfriend or wife to stop wearing short skirts, you can say that “you look a lot better with long skirts and dresses” or “I love it when you wear formal.”

Remember the subconscious mind gets programmed by repetition, so the more you give your partner subtle messages without force, with constant repetition, your partner might change their behaviors.

Author's Bio: 

Dia Thabet

Love is like a plant. It needs consistent, careful attention to thrive. Without it, your relationship is destined to wither away. How to win your lover’s heart was released by to help you win and capture your lover’s heart and avoid breakups