Can I Stop My Divorce?

Can I stop my divorce? I’m sorry you’re in a predicament that leads you to ask this question, but you’re not alone. In the United States, more than 50% of brides and grooms give up on living happily ever after. Instead of renewing vows and growing old together, their marriages end in divorce. If you’re asking, “Can I stop my divorce?” you clearly don’t want to end up on the wrong side of those statistics.

I have some good news for you. There is a very good chance that you can make amends and save your marriage from divorce. In most cases, you can at least make sure your spouse is overwhelmed with second-thoughts.

Before you can truly understand how to stop divorce, it’s important to consider why the statistics on successful marriages are so poor. You may think it’s because people get married before they know each other well enough, or before they’re mature enough to make a commitment. That rings true in some situations, but what about the couples who face divorce after 20, 30, or 40 years of marriage? These aren’t the irresponsible, fickle people who find themselves asking, “Can I stop my divorce?” right after the wedding bells stop ringing. So, why do they end up in divorce court?

The truth is that most marriages fail simply because people grow apart rather than growing together. After several years, you find out that you just aren’t the same person you were on your wedding day—and neither is your spouse. This is something that should seem obvious before marriage; however, most people aren’t prepared for it.

This often results in less time together, more arguments, and resentment. I’ll give you a few tips for dealing with each.

Is Your Marriage Boring?
If you’re spending less time with your spouse it may be because you’re bored with each other. After doing the same thing one day after another for years, you’re bound to lose interest. The only way to deal with this is to spice things up. Instead of dinner and a movie, try something you’ve never before done as a couple. Take dance lessons, go on a spontaneous road trip, play laser tag. Even if it doesn’t sound interesting at first, remember the question you’ve been asking: “Can I stop my divorce?” If you’re serious about saving your marriage, put the excitement back in your life.

Stop the Arguments

If you’re arguing more than ever with your spouse, it’s likely due to an unresolved issue that’s been looming over your heads for quite some time. Take a long, hard look at what you’re arguing about and see if you can pick out a common theme. Are you arguing about money, sex, time, the kids? Whatever it is, you need to get down to the bottom of it.

As long as an issue is outstanding, one or both of you will harbor resentment toward the other. Sit down together at a time when you’re both calm enough to create an agreement. This agreement will help you see the other’s expectations more clearly, thus preventing many arguments and misunderstandings. It may not be easy to reach an agreement and you will likely have to compromise; but think again about the question you’ve been asking: “Can I stop my divorce?” Stick to your mission if you want to save your marriage.

Adjusting to Change

Lastly, you may be having marital problems because of changes you’ve made over the years. You’re not the same person you were when you married and your spouse may resent you for it. The same may be true if your spouse is the one who has changed significantly. It’s important to realize that it is 100% normal to change, grow and evolve with age. However, these changes can leave you struggling to save your relationship if you don’t discuss them openly.

Take the time to talk with each other about how your interests, ideas and personalities have changed. If your partner is having a tough time adjusting to a change you’ve made, listen to his or her perspective and do your best to understand. By validating each other’s feelings and accepting one another’s different phases of personal development; you can stop divorce in its tracks.
Consider your willingness to follow the advice above the next time you ask yourself, “Can I stop my divorce?” You have the power to create the answer you desire.