Breathe Life Into Your Wish List

If you want to order the cheapest thing on the menu or take a budget vacation, go ahead; but don’t resort to practical wishes. What do you really want for Christmas? Now, tell him, tell everybody. Don’t depend on anybody else to deliver it, though.

I remember finally realizing that it was okay to buy myself jewelry, after falling for the fallacy that somebody else was supposed to buy it for me … because (SET ITAL) they (END ITAL) thought I deserved it. Well, guess what? You deserve it, whether he knows it or not; and he’s unlikely to know it before you do.

We’re not talking about entitlement or arrogance. We’re talking about realizing who you are; and connecting with your wishes is a beautiful way to catch a glimpse of the real you! When you trade your dream for what somebody else thinks of you, or what somebody else can afford, or what somebody else customarily picks out for you, you get a distorted view of YOU.

Pretend you have a fairy godmother who’s ready to make an appearance, which means you’re ready for her to make an appearance! A fairy godmother is nothing more than you coming to your own rescue. Now, look through her eyes at you. What do you see? Knowing she’s capable of creating whatever you want, what is it you want, my princess?

The first step is to get clarity … and when there is no sky to limit you, you may not know where to start. It’s much easier to choose between a facial and a massage, a gift certificate and another sweater, or a necklace and a bracelet. Your (SET ITAL) ultimate (END ITAL) wishes probably fall into one of the following categories: Romance/Sex, Money, Achievement, Education, Love and Belonging, Self-Esteem, or Making a Difference.

Here’s where it gets fun, because you get to put all the pieces together. Maybe you want more money, and you realize that in order to earn it, you want to go back to school and follow your passion for art or teaching. Maybe you want more love and belonging, and in order to get it, you have to let your guard down. Maybe you want more sex, and realize that the first step is acknowledging that to yourself, and the second is sharing it, which means getting over your fear of rejection.

You’ll find there’s a common denominator in making your wishes come true. You have to look honestly at what’s standing in your way. Why haven’t you gone back to school? Why did you put that guard up to begin with? Why haven’t you asked your husband about what feels like a lack of desire on his part? Once you get past the excuses—he never listens, people are cruel, a Ph.D. takes forever and costs a fortune—you’ll realize that the only thing really standing in your way is fear, based on old information about who you thought you were.

You no longer have anything to be afraid of … what, with a fairy godmother and all! She’s been there all along; it just takes us a little while, or a lifetime, to figure that out. You are your own hero. Or if you prefer, God is your hero; but he planted his seed, or a spark of love, in you. And you have the potential to make your wishes come true.

You have nothing to be afraid of, because love is unthreatened.

What do you really want for Christmas? What do you really want for life? You get to pick something worthy of you!

Author's Bio: 

Jan Denise is a self-esteem and relationships consultant, the author of Innately Good: Dispelling the Myth That You’re Not (Health Communications) and Naked Relationships: Sharing Your Authentic Self to Find the Partner of Your Dreams (Hampton Roads), and the columnist who penned the nationally syndicated “Inside Relationships” for ten years. Denise conducts workshops, speaks professionally, serves on the faculty of Omega Institute, and consults with individuals and couples nationwide. She is also the founder of Godseed Originals. And she is silly and deeply in love with life and her husband Sam Ferguson. They live in McIntosh, Florida, where their home in the woods is open to others as a sanctuary and retreat center. and