Be Instinctive - Listen To The Lessons Life Wants To Teach You

I was looking at someone’s bio the other day (a 19 year old), which poignantly stated that she thought she was destined for big things, but was just too lazy. It made me think back to when I was 19 years old - married, a mortgage, two miscarriages behind me and about to be pregnant again with my eldest son. I had this feeling that life was bigger than the experiences I’d had up to that point and that I was going to enjoy every moment of it. I loved being married and I loved having my two sons. It wasn’t that I was lazy, I most certainly wasn’t, but I was too young to have experienced some of the lessons in life that eventually taught me a great deal. When something goes wrong, I either ‘take it on the chin’ and hope next time it won’t sting quite so much (I know that’s illogical) or I learn, change and grow from it. I suspect that the writer of that bio is just at the start of her learning curve called ‘life’ and it has more to do with not being sure about what step to take next, rather than laziness. It sounds like someone who is unsure of where exactly they are heading; someone who needs to learn the benefit of being focussed. The lessons that should teach me something but don’t, are usually when I get hurt by something because of my character traits; or maybe they are serious enough to be called ‘flaws’. I’m not sure about that and know myself well enough to understand that’s not a question I actually want someone else to answer for me. Hurt often comes from being a little too honest about myself (naïve), from being too damned efficient (and that upsets people sometimes) and from being well meaning (yes, a badge-wearing member of that annoying club!). I’m not one to dwell on something I can’t or don’t want to change, and yes I have tried a bit (not entirely wholeheartedly) but I accept now that’s who I am. So moving swiftly on to the uplifting bit, I was lucky enough to learn some HUGE lessons very early on in my life. An alternative way of saying that, is I had at least as many lows as I had highs and the ability to spot useful things to learn and grow from was instinctive to me. So, following one of my major character ‘flaws’ (let’s call them), here is my list of ‘annoyingly helpful’ lessons learned in a frenetic, full and very satisfying life so far: - 1. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today EVER. Why? Because an emergency will arise and you will end up regretting you didn’t get it out of the way when you first thought about doing it. 2. On your scribbled ‘to do’ list ALWAYS do the quick and easy things first (feel good factor), then hit the thing you LEAST want to do next. Why? Because if you leave it until last as you want to do, all the time you are working away on the other items on that list you will have that niggling little feeling at the back of your head about what’s to come. Just get it OUT of the way. 3. Trust your gut feeling, if you get one - but proceed cautiously rather than over reacting. Why? Just in case you’re wrong, it’s indigestion or life’s teaching you not to make assumptions and you don’t realise that’s the case. 4. If you have a deadline to meet, do it ridiculously early if you can. Why? See item 1. and also realise that a deadline is a pressure that stays with you until it’s been put to bed. Even if you do what is required and then hold onto it – which brings me onto tip no. 5. 5. Be organised in every aspect of your life, but guard against being annoying (impossible, but you have to try). rnWhy? People who are disorganised will at first be impressed by your skill, and then over time become incredibly annoyed by it. Trust me, I’ve been there and its top of my ‘hurt’ list. There are things you can do, call it damage limitation and this includes - not meeting a deadline too far in advance; not arriving too early for an appointment – even if it means going for several cups of coffee to while away the waiting time so you can arrive only ‘fashionably’ and respectfully early. If it’s your responsibility to look after the house/cook/pick up kids etc make sure you really understand the life-saving benefit of this entire list and how VITALLY important the ability to prioritise effectively can be. I guarantee it will keep you out of trouble. 6. What goes around comes around – so don’t worry about it. Why? Life is too short to worry about it not being fair. If you give out warmth and support, but get a slap in the face back, hey – it’s not your problem. On the whole I find that if I treat people with respect and am honest with them, they return it with warmth. 7. Losing your pride is a good thing, you might just not realise that yet. Why? For me it’s been impossible to get this far in my life without on numerous occasions appearing to be unfortunately ‘foolish’, ‘mad’ or ‘deluded’. Either saying the wrong thing at the wrong time (called putting one’s foot in it); falling flat on my face over an idea that I launched into too enthusiastically without thinking (a speciality); blindly believing that I can achieve ANYTHING if I put my mind to it (success rate is only about 90% so far). Once you’ve had a bit of experience at losing your pride, it will no longer have the massive impact it did the first few (hundred) times. In my continuing life journey, I’ve recently started on the path to establishing myself as an author. In some ways I am so very well prepared. I’ve got tremendous enthusiasm and am organised to within an inch of my life, so that I can keep all the balls I’m juggling (hopefully) up in the air at the same time. The one question I can’t answer is will anyone want to read me?