Ask For What You Want

Women often struggle with asking for what we want. We spend so much time helping other people. We're quick to pick up on what our friends, family, and colleagues want, and slow to understand what we want.

Over time, we stop checking in with ourselves about what we ourselves truly want. We may be driven by our busy schedules - taking care of our business, our family, making sure there's food in the house and clean clothes in the closet.

Our internal sense of what we want can be clouded by the messages from our parents or neighbors or colleagues about what we "should" want. Surely we should want a high-powered education, or a prestigious job, or a high-status husband? But does that truly satisfy our souls and nurture us? Is that what makes us excited to jump out of bed in the morning?

Remember, the first part of the law of attraction is to ask. To ask for what you truly want, in your heart of hearts. If you really want world peace, that's OK. If you really want a Ferrari, that's equally OK. The universe has endless diversity and can satisfy any wish. Everyone's wish can be unique.

Once you're clear about what you want, the next step is to ask for it: clearly and repeatedly. One hundred and thirty-nine publishers turned down Chicken Soup for Soul before the 140th publisher accepted it. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had to do a lot of asking to get that book published!

Here's some advice on asking, from another of their books

The Aladdin Factor.
1. Have a positive expectation. Ask as if you expect to get it. Assume that whatever you want, you can have. Don't assume before you ask that the answer is no.
2. Keep asking. If you don't get a yes the first time, keep asking. Being tenacious is one of the hallmarks of success.
3. Make your request clear and specific. The more vague you are, the easier it is to say no to you. "I'd like to have dinner with you on Friday night" is a lot more clear than "Let's get together sometime."

If you need to re-start your asking ability, ask yourself:
• What did I want that I did not ask for today?
• Who could have helped me today if I'd asked?
• Where could I have asked for what I wanted and gotten it today?
• How could I have asked more effectively?

Once you receive an answer, create a new image of yourself actually asking for what you wanted. Visualize yourself asking for it more effectively. See yourself doing it the way you would have liked to had you not been so shy, frightened, prideful, or defensive. You'll be surprised how readily both the circumstances and the "corrections" will come to you.

What this activity does for you is heighten your awareness, which is the first step to all behavioral change. It also programs your unconscious to help you act more assertively and effectively in the future. Make this a daily ritual until you see your behavior changing.

Call to Action

Give yourself permission to ask for EVERYTHING you want.

Think about what you want and luxuriate in it. Ask the universe to help achieve it. Ask people around you for what YOU want.

Recently I asked myself "What did I want that I did not ask for today?" and realized it was to ask a colleague not to call me early in the morning. I did, and she immediately said "of course - I didn't realize you weren't a morning person". Our friends, family and colleagues want to support us. We just have to tell them how.