Are You Ready For a Relationship?

So, are you ready to find a frickin' boyfriend? You're like, Should I get a boyfriend? Should I start this quest to find a boyfriend, find a relationship, and have a significant frickin' other? I'm basically going to just tell you my truth in regards to how I knew I was ready to start dating again after taking quite a long hiatus from dating at all.

Now, let's just start talking about whether or not you're even ready to put yourself out there, you know, put yourself out there to find a frickin' man and so, the first thing that you really need to ask yourself you are considering going out into the dating world is you need to ask yourself if you are happy by yourself and you're happy as a single frickin' person. Now, this is super frickin' cliche advice, and I acknowledge that. This isn't anything really that groundbreaking.

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Now, here's the thing with this advice. I think a lot of people are good at lying to themselves and telling themselves, Oh, yeah, I'm super freaking' happy being by my frickin' lonesome. I'm just so happy as a single freaking' person. But subconsciously, they're saying that because they know that in saying that or they feel like in saying that, it's gonna anti-jinx them, and it's gonna increase their odds of bumping into somebody that's a good partner to them.

Or maybe that's just something I have done in the past. I don't really know. Maybe not everybody is as crazy as me. But I just know that there have been times in my life when I've thought, You know, honestly, I'm pretty frickin' happy as a singleton person, but deep down, I'm actually so really wanting a relationship and I'm just hoping that in coming off as happy as a single person, I'm like, expediting that process. And so, an easy way for you to know if you're actually happy as a single person is if, like, imagine your life for a second.

Now, it's totally natural to feel some level of like, It would be kind of nice to have a partner, or, I wish I had a consistent person to cuddle with. That's normal. I think it's totally normal to want certain aspects of a romantic partnership, but you shouldn't feel like your life depends on it. You shouldn't feel deeply scared or deeply alone or like, existentially horrified at the concept of being alone for a very long time.

Whenever I have had a scarcity mindset in dating I find that I tend to act more desperately, I tend to lower my standards more, and I tend to be more open to people who would not be good for my frickin' self. So very important, I feel like, that you're approaching dating not with a scarcity mindset, but with an anti-scarcity mindset, an abundance mindset.

One of the main reasons is that if you basically try to go into dating without a certain level of contentment, just in your everyday life and you are viewing dating as some sort of fix-all or some sort of necessary thing in order for you to overcome certain anxieties and certain challenges, then you are inevitably going to lower your standard, and you're probably going to be more concerned with finding a relationship just for its own sake and not as concerned with finding a relationship with a compatible person.

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And furthermore, you're probably gonna be disappointed to realize that a long-term relationship, once you get past the honeymoon period, doesn't really quell a lot of the anxieties that you're probably experiencing. And if anything, it's going to make it even harder for you to overcome them, because relationships can be really demanding at different points. And for those reasons, I think it's really important that you kind of get to a certain level of contentment with your own life before you start pursuing a relationship.