And the Oscar for best coach in a supporting role goes to……

Well, that will never happen. First of all because we are not in the motion picture industry and second of all because generally coaches don’t want to be in the spotlights. Great coaches usually don’t have big ego’s. They shine by enabling others to shine more brightly.

By definition coaching is all about the coachee and never about the coach. The ego of a coach and the coachee should never occupy the same room.

But coaches also have to be business people, entrepreneurs in order to fill their practice and make a decent living. However, coaches are reluctant to blow their own horn. Many coaches have a ‘fear’ of selling themselves. Telling potential clients how good they are and what a smart decision it would be to hire them.

Well, to those coaches I have only one advice (and a rarely give advice as a coach):

Stop selling yourself!

Focus on adding value, focus on reducing risk, focus on increasing revenue for your clients. Focus on them, them, them and not on you.

My approach is that I’m not looking for clients but looking for ways for my clients to find me. And that’s a whole different ball game. Ponder that for a while!

Carl Rogers said in order to truly help someone we must be able to enter their lives, help them resolve their issues and then exit their lives without them ever knowing we were there.

And that’s why coaches will never win an Oscar…….and why we don’t care.

Author's Bio: 

“One thing people are never good at is seeing themselves as others see them. A coach is crucial to give that perspective.”

Ton de Graaf started his career in the Military where he learned about leadership while serving with the Royal Dutch Military Police as a Platoon Leader and later as a Captain with the Royal Dutch Air Force. He continued his career in the corporate world as a change manager, interim manager, program manager and HRD manager in various industries before starting his own Executive Coaching firm (Quest Coaching Netherlands).

Since then his international scope allowed him to work with senior executives in various countries. He has also been an Executive, Business and Life coach trainer with the International Coach Academy in Australia.

In 2009 he was asked to become General Manager at Praesta International Ltd. An executive coaching firm with 110 coaches in 12 countries across the globe.

He also designs courses and tools for coaches in the You Coach Now! series. Available on iPad, Kindle and on

Specialties•Enhancing personal presence and influence
•Boosting creativity and collaboration during times of change
•Expanding personal leadership styles
•Maximizing business results through systemic interventions.