Alone During the Holidays? Take the Time to Heal Yourself and Become Able to Develop a Successful Relationship Next Year

It always amazes me to see the ways in which people attempt to ensure they have someone to spend the holidays with.

Some SINGLES vehemently look for a partner right before the holidays in order to escape being alone while “everybody else is with loved ones”.

Those in a RELATIONSHIP often decide to stay in it, even if it’s an unsatisfying one, in order to have a “partner” during the Holidays – secretly intending to leave right after.

Some of those who end up alone during the holidays are miserable, sinking deep into the “holidays’ blues” - especially if, for one reason or another, they don’t even have a family or other friends to be with.

The following is a story of one such person. You may be familiar with his story. It might have happened to you – or to people you know.

ALONE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

The mobile stares at him silently, motionless, waiting, like a submissive dog. Or maybe it was he who stared at the mobile, waiting for a call.
But all in vain. The mobile keeps its silence. It feels as if days, months and years go by, and the quiet penetrates his bones.

Darkness begins to fall. The long holiday weekend is almost at the doorstep. All are together with their loved ones, while he is still staring at his cellular. The TV is on but he doesn’t listen. Books are piled by his bed but he can’t read. Loneliness engulfs him and he feels abandoned and alone.

Suppose that he calls someone? But who shall he call?
Should he set up the table and sit down for dinner with the mobile? He at one side of the table, the mobile at the other?

What a ridiculous thought! Indeed, He has indeed heard stories about people having dinner with a stuffed animal - but he isn’t like them!

Suddenly he trembles: is it possible that the mobile isn’t working? After all, it isn’t possible that no one has called to invite him over for tonight’s meal. The mobile MUST be damaged, must!

He grabs the mobile and presses ON. It is working. Damn! He would have preferred it to be damaged, to understand why nobody has called him. But it is working! This really hurts!

He begins to envy all those who have others to celebrate the holidays with. Those who, undoubtedly, already sit down, at this exact hour, around the table, with family members, friends and loved ones.

Envious feelings begin to spread all over his entire body. He would rather be in a relationship if only to escape this awful feeling!

He looks outside the window and notices a horrifying darkness hanging over the city. It is gotten cold. He stares at the cellular and caresses him. For a minute it seems to him that the cellular understands, in his typical silent way, more than anybody else in the entire world.

He hits on the only digit he has the nerve to push. After a few rings he hears a cold, distant, wondering “hallo?”
“Hi, it’s me,” he whispers, “I’m calling to wish you Happy Holidays.”
For a minute there is silence at the other side. His x-girl-friend is apparently confused about his call.
But he pushes ahead. Not knowing what he wants to say he utters the only words which come to his mind. “I want you back,” he says, “it feels so lonely without you.”

HOW TO COPE WITH BEING ALONE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

You can use the holidays to gain understanding about what makes you fail in your relationships in spite of your desire to have one. In order to do so I recommend that you develop SELF-AWARENESS.

DEVELOPING SELF-AWARENESS will help you get in touch with the ways in which you sabotage yours relationships and will enable you to understand a host of factors which drive you to doing so (such as: your needs, fears, messages, unrealistic expectations and fantasies, belief-system you have internalized, societal customs and mannerisms, and so on).

Using the holidays to look inwards and figure out what you need to change will enable you to know how to go about finding a satisfying relationship next year.