Even though someone can have the tendency to feel totally helpless, it doesn’t mean that they will be aware of this. However, when they feel this way, it is going to have an effect on how they behave.

This is likely to be a time when they will behave in ways that typically don’t serve them and could actually cause them harm. But, as they are not consciously aware of what is going on, they are unlikely to change.

For example

So, when they feel helpless, they could stop doing something and simply throw the towel in, so to speak. In another moment, they might not even get this far and might not even take the first step.

Due to typically being this way, they are unlikely to make a lot of progress in a number, if not all areas, of their life. In general, there will be a lot of things that they want to start doing but don’t.

The Opposite

Along with acting out in this way, there is also likely to be moments when they end up acting in. This can be a time when they will feel very low, have very little if any energy and find it hard to move.

There could be moments when they find it hard to get out of bed and other moments when they just stay sitting down and don’t really move. One way of looking at this would be to say that they will be depressed.

The Norm

What is clear is that, by living in this way, their life is unlikely to be very fulfilling. How they experience life can just be seen as how it is and thus there will be no reason for them to try to change it.

Naturally, in order for their life to change, they will need to be able to take a step back and see what is going on. By doing this, they will be able to see that they act this way because they feel helpless.


This is not to say that their life will change merely through having this understanding but what it will do is allow them to see what is going on, which will be the first step. If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, it is likely to show that this is something that has permeated their whole being.

Ergo, they won’t just think or even feel that they are helpless, their whole system will be in a helpless state. Thanks to this and how accustomed they are to being this way, it is to be expected that they would have spent most of their life acting helpless without even realising that they felt helpless.


Now that what is going on has entered their conscious awareness, they will be able to see that they spend a lot of time feeling helpless. At this point, they could wonder why they spend so much time in this way of being.

Their mind could go blank when they think about why they are this way and this is likely to show that their brain has blocked out what took place to protect them. As a result of this, they will be aware of the effects of what happened but not the cause.

Back In Time

If they were able to go back in time, to when they were an infant, they might soon see why they are this way. During this stage of their life, they may have largely been left and when they were given attention, it is likely to have been misattuned care.

Consequently, they would have missed out on the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Not receiving the right care would have greatly wounded them.

One Option

They would have not have just felt helpless during this time, they would have been helpless. But, as they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to change what was going on or to find another caregiver.

Their only option was to repress how they felt and to go into a shut down, collapsed and frozen state. Going into this state would have stopped them from being overwhelmed with pain and kept them alive.

A Hindrance

Nonetheless, now that they are an adult and are no longer helpless, being this way will cause them to suffer unnecessarily. The trouble is that being helpless is likely to be what will feel safe and they will carry the original pain, with this pain causing them to be in a collapsed, helpless state.

For their life to change, they will need to work through this pain and develop a felt sense of safety and security. This is something that will take endless patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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