Achieve True Victory, Achieve Self-Trust

If we don't trust in our capacity to deal with life as it comes at us, we end up feeling in a state of perpetual fear and worry. We try to control life through perfectionism, making sure everything is just-so, and thus avoid any form of mistake. Unfortunately, life has its ways of throwing its twists and turns at us and when we do make a mistake we feel unprepared to handle it. We take on too much because we always compare ourselves with what everyone else is doing, we do what we think people want us to do, and we’re constantly worries about what others may think. In the end, it all comes down to one thing: a lack of self-trust!

If we don't trust our own personal judgment, then we don't trust ourselves to make the right choices. We second-guess ourselves, seek advice from so many people that we get confused, and endlessly search for sources of information and points of reference. What we constantly forget is that the best point of reference in ourselves! Our subconscious instincts!

Rather than spending our time trusting our feelings, we spend our time avoiding them. Instead, we’re persistently obsessing over our problems, magnifying them to the point that they seem overwhelming. Then, to make things worse, we beat ourselves up about our failures (I’m no good, I procrastinate too much, I’m a control freak, I wish things were different) or find excuses with which to keep our problems (it’s not my fault, I have low-self-esteem, I don’t have the energy, I don’t know how).

Self-trust seems to have gotten lost in our modern externally-focused society but it is a virtue we must learn to embrace once again. It stems from the subconscious, those internal feelings we often ignore. It is a combination of self-acceptance (an accurate self-assessment), self-reliance (the ability to use our skills and abilities to their best potential), and self-certainty (the confidence to move forward with pride, without worrying about what others think). This is not referring to a superficial self-esteem of an exaggerated self-regard. It’s about using the heart and the mind to face life-challenges.

So where does one begin? First, know that a firm decision must be made: a decision to improve. Any improvement, whether great or small, is still one step forward in the right direction. Any mistake we make is an opportunity to learn. And any challenge we must face is a chance for us to practice. All it takes is an unwavering step forward. When you’ve taken that first step, take another, and another, always moving forward no matter what life has to bring.