While it could be said that the ideal will be for one life’s to go as they want it to go, this doesn’t always take place. Instead, they can have moments when they don’t get what they want and there can be times when something ‘negative’ will occur.


When something like this happens, one can get caught up in what is taking place and wonder why they are having this experience. They may even end up seeing themselves as a victim.

Someone or something is then trying to hold then back or stopping them from achieving something. It can then be normal for one to end up feeling angry and even powerless about what is going on.

A Fixed Idea

What this will show is that one believes that their life should go in a certain direction and when this doesn’t happen, it is then to be expected that they will experience pain. The reason one has this approach can be due to the kind of messages they have received throughout their life.

From a young age, one may have been told that they can achieve whatever they want to achieve when they are older, and they may have been told that they can control their destiny by getting the right education. This can then set them up to believe that they are the master of their ship, so to speak, and that they can define their life.


Along with what one can hear from their parents and society, there is another thing that can have a big effect on them. If one’s life isn’t going as they want it to go, they can end up looking for answers.

Through reading a book or watching a video, one could come to believe that they have found a way to make sure that their life does go as they want it to. This can then be a time where one will learn about how they will need to control their thoughts and to behave in the way and then they will experience life differently.

Thinking Positive

It is then going to be imperative for one to manipulate their thoughts, and this will be seen as something that will allow them to attract ‘good’ things into their life. To put it another way, one will be using the ‘law of attraction’ to create the life they want to lead.

And if one has felt as though they have no control over their life for so long, this is likely to be something that is extremely appealing. One can then go from believing that they have no effect on their life, to believing that they are the master of it.


However, even if one was to go along with everything they read and/or heard; they are likely to see that they can’t always have what they want. No matter what they do with their thoughts or how they behave, there are still going to be moments when their life doesn’t go as they would like it to.

In fact, one may find that the more they try to create their ideal life, the more it seems to elude them. It is then as if the very act of trying to improve their life is what is making it worse.


Therefore, if one does try to completely control their life through getting into self-development, they are going to end up disappointed. This is not to say that they won’t see an improvement; what it means is that they won’t be able to experience complete control.

Now, one could acknowledge this, or they could ignore what is taking place and work even harder to make sure that they always get what they want and that nothing ‘bad’ happens again. It is then only going to be matter of time before they are back where they started, and they could soon end up being burned out.

Stepping Back

If one was to take a step back when this happens or before this was to happen, it would give them the chance to gain a clearer perspective. One could then take the time to reflect and to see that they can’t control everything.

Thus, when something ‘bad’ happens, it can be in their best interest to accept it as opposed to trying to resist it. During this time, one will be observing their inner process and not getting caught up in them.

A Different Role

In the past they would have been like a child that wasn’t getting their way, and now they are like the parent who is listening to the child. One is then not trying to deny how they feel or to repress it; they are containing their inner experience.

Through having this approach and not getting caught up in what is taking place within them, it will be a lot easier for them to handle what happens to them. And through not getting worked up, it may pass a lot sooner than if this wasn’t the case.

Letting Go

It could then be said that there are times when one needs to let go of control in order to gain control. In the short-term, this will mean that they will have to get into the passenger seat, but in the long–term, it will allow them to get back into the driver’s seat.

When this happens, one will be in their feminine, and this is because they will be going with the flow. Still, this is not to say that one should just accept everything that happens and not do anything.


If one was to do this, it can be just as destructive as if they tried to resist anything that went against how they believe their life should be. Instead of taking action and doing what needs to be done, they can say that it is better for them to accept what is taking place.

On the surface, this can sound like the enlightened thing to do, but at a deeper level, it can be another form of resistance. Through standing back and doing nothing, their life can end up getting worse, or other people’s lives could end up being affected.


Ultimately, one will need to come to their own conclusion as to whether they need to go with what is taking place or to take action. What can’t be denied is that one won’t always know what is best and so even if something doesn’t go to plan, it doesn’t mean that their life is going in the wrong direction.

Yet it might take a few weeks, months or even years until one is able to realise this. What this emphasises is how important it is for one to trust that their life is going in the right direction.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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