How often do we truly accept what is? We can all probably think of many instances during our day when we do not accept what is. From our hair not going the way we want to getting stuck in traffic and being late for work. Why can we not accept what is? Usually, non-acceptance is accompanied by judgment.

Because we are always searching for happiness, love, peace, and contentment in our lives we are always finding ways to control what happens. Because we have certain beliefs, we are always looking for ways to support those beliefs. Judgment can help us to feed the flames of our beliefs, whether they are positive or negative.

When we choose not to practice acceptance, how do we feel? Usually we feel aggravated, agitated, restless, and out of control. How about when we truly accept what is? We feel the sense of peace in letting go of what we believe and judge and just allowing it to be.

Acceptance does not mean there is no action taken and that when someone is attacking us either verbally or physically that we must continue to let them do it. Acceptance comes more from the aspect of “This is what is happening right now and I cannot change it or the person doing it. It is what it is.” If it doesn’t feel comfortable to us, then we can take action, such as to remove ourselves from the situation or ask the person to stop treating us in this way.

But when we accept what is happening we are coming from that place of peace within ourselves from which our request to the other person is more likely going to be heard. There will be no anger behind our words because we are not judging the actions, simply not wishing to be the recipient of them.

Another aspect of acceptance is that when we have an experience that is not a positive one, we can accept what is happening and if it triggers us or causes us pain, we can look at it as a great way to look within ourselves and see the lesson for us. And most important of all we can practice acceptance of ourselves. When we learn to accept ourselves and how we think and feel, it is much easier to accept others as well. For when we judge another, we are also judging ourselves.

We cannot change or fix others. We can only look within ourselves and see where our beliefs no longer work for us and shift them to something that does work.

A perfect example of acceptance is meditation. When we are meditating we are aware of everything around us and can sit in stillness as life happens around us. And yet there is no need to change or fix any of it. We are simply aware that it is happening. Life can be a meditation. Can we stay in this state all the time? No, practically speaking, we are human and part of our human experience is to feel and think. But we can be aware of what is happening all the time.

We can hear the phone ringing and we can say, “That phone shouldn’t be ringing!” But we cannot stop it from ringing. It has happened. We can accept it or we can fight it.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we don’t have to take action.
Acceptance is not judging what is happening as it cannot be changed.
Acceptance comes from peace, judgment comes from pain.

As you go through your week this week, be aware of times when you judge or cannot accept a situation as it is. Then take a breath and see if you can accept what is happening and if you cannot, look inside yourself to see what is preventing you from practicing acceptance. This is where the lesson lies.

Author's Bio: 

Bettina Goodwin is a Certified Life Coach, Reiki Practitioner, speaker and facilitator who has experience working with children, teens and adults in a wide variety of personal, family and relationship issues. Her background and training of four years of personal growth work, training and certification followed by case studies give her the tools necessary to delve into the core issues that are causing concern for her clients.