You never want to be caught in the trap of thinking you can conjure up your "soul mate" in 90 days or less by following a New Age snake oil protocol.

Ready, set, go. You now have 90 days to find the love of your life. What a terrible approach to love. Just like square-dancing, you'll twirl your way into the arms of the closest participant, but unlike that dance, you'll have to remain together forever. And because you're too focused on your agenda, too focused on casting a play, the fact that you two aren't really compatible won't be obvious until the illusion and excitement fade.

Being caught in this trap won't help you find a compatible love relationship partner. In fact, it will make you miss your best matches.

You're not alone if you've fallen for this ruse. You see that the promoters are best-selling authors, they've been on high-profile talk shows, and their "heart-centered" communications obscure (by design) the fact that, when examined more closely, this is an incredibly disingenuous approach to love.

How to Escape This Trap

The best way to avoid this trap is to acknowledge these 5 truths:

1. You can't force love. It happens when it's supposed to happen. Absolutely make yourself available, socialize, and be receptive to new romantic opportunities. Just be aware of the idea that if it's not meant to be within 90 days, it's not meant to be.

However, if you insist, you can use control and manipulation to make someone (e.g., a eunuch) do your bidding and create the illusion of a "soul mate" connection, as many "love life experts" do themselves. But that's nothing to do with unconditional love and, in time, you'll be very unhappy with this approach.

It's apparent to us, when observing the love lives, and delineating the timing and, or karma of the "experts" who claim you can find your "soul mate" if you follow their advice, that most are either fooling themselves or intentionally living a lie in an attempt to impress their customers and promote the "90 days or less" myth.

2. Attempting to identify and mitigate any personality blocks that interfere with what you want for your love life so that you may rise to a new level of being is an admirable concept, but one that's fraught with steep challenges. You need authentic methods (e.g., handwriting analysis) to identify subconscious blocks, not the "simply monitor your thoughts and identify all your issues" nonsense. Also, the programming and negative subconscious fears won't go away overnight, and the subconscious defenses are very likely to stay with you forever. Therapy and hypnosis audios can help the healing process along.

3. Even if a person does manage to overcome a lot of their blocks, their overall karma and timing may reflect a terrible landscape for romantic affairs. Thus, they're fated to endure an abysmal love life, at least for a time. Anyone who says you can simply bypass your love karma and have whatever you want (if you buy their book, of course) is either lying or simply lacks understanding of key spiritual tenets such as karma, predestination, and destiny (which is the same thing as fate, by the way).

4. The time isn't right for a good reason. Look at it this way: you should be glad that you're not attracting your best soul mate right now so that you can take care of the other parts of your life first, and prepare for your heart's desire when the time is right (fated).

5. The more you focus on deepening your self-love, self-improvement, and the utter acceptance and enjoyment of your time alone, the more likely you are closer to finding the love of your life. The worst position you can be in is to be in a constant state of desperation toward finding your "other half." Don't forget, as Stephen says, "Two halves make a dysfunctional mess." Try not to buy into the hype that you need to be partnered in order to be happy. Be strong--self love is the most authentic form of true love.

You can't manifest a rewarding soul mate out of thin air if the time isn't right for you, no matter what the "experts" say. The erroneous notion and dreadful trap is an artificial, commercial approach to love that could potentially ruin your life. Following our advice above will help you to avoid this trap and, eventually, experience satisfaction in your love life.

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

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