Are you getting what you want out of life?
If you are, you have an inner personal blueprint that works for you.
If you are not getting what you want, your blueprint is causing you to self-sabotage, according to Dr. Gordon Wolf, author of “Your Personal Blueprint Creates Your Life.”
“Each of us has a DNA to our personality that controls the remainder of the behaviors of that personality,” Wolf says.
According to him, this inner blueprint is formed when we are children, based on our relationships with others.
“We create an inner picture of ourselves that we recreate over and over,” Wolf says.
For example, Wolf worked with an executive who didn’t think he could be a success unless he was a hero. “He would often overstep his boundaries, taking on other people’s jobs and creating chaos in the organization,” Wolf says.
A female exec believed that if she did what other people needed her to do she would be safe. “She focused on what others needed and doing what they asked, but once she became a leader, she was not able to take charge. Her behavior was one of avoidance,” Wolf says.
The first thing to recognize is that everyone creates life in ways that reflect that inner experience of self. “This requires taking personal responsibly for what occurs and asking yourself what was my part in this thing that happened? If you do that, over time, you will see patterns of what you create with other people,” Wolf says.
According to him, the primary pattern that keeps people from success is not trusting themselves enough, as well as being overly critical and second-guessing themselves.
To counter this tendency, Wolf recommends reading “A Guide to Rational Living,” by Albert Ellis.
A second reason people end up defeating themselves is they set boundaries on what they can do and become.
“If you are too hard on yourself, listen to what you say to yourself for about two weeks. Don’t try to be different. After two weeks of listening to [your negative self-talk], you’ll find that you really want to be different,” Wolf says.
The third reason people fail to get what they want is they don’t know how to ask for what they need. “They are concerned with pleasing other people or as being seen as selfish or tough to get along with,” Wolf says.
A fourth reason people don’t succeed is that they are unable to effectively manage conflict.
“Recognize that being in conflict means that people trust you, whether you are a leader or in a relationship with someone. When there is no trust there is no conflict,” Wolf says. He recommends reading the book, “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” by Stone, Patten, Heen and Fisher.
The model of behavior that Wolf created is based on the philosophy that all normal human beings want something and they either get it or don’t get it, based on the relationship they have with themselves. “The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself,” Wolf says.
Once you know what you truly believe about yourself and the nature of life, you can change the beliefs that don’t work for you. Then you can start on the road to true happiness and success.

Author's Bio: 

Danek S. Kaus is the co-author of “Power Persuasion: Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business” (David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus). To learn more winning ways, visit and