Part I

From the moment of our birth until the moment of our demise, we are constantly writing our life’s experiences onto the slates of our minds; and when we have finished writing on a slate, it is stored in an imaginary trunk where they remain until such time as they are needed as a reference point by which to judge certain situations which we have documented or other life occurrences for which we have no immediate reference.

These slates, with their vast amounts of recorded history, are placed in an imaginary trunk according to their deemed importance. They are categorized as being either good or bad, with the good experiences being cultivated, expounded upon and taken to a higher level, while the bad experiences are often cast aside, ignored and placed at the bottom of the trunk.

Bad experiences, whether real or imagined, are for the most part mired in anger, envy, arrogance, self-centeredness and fear, just to name a few. They are the events in life that did not pan out as we had expected, planned or hoped they would. Someone did not act as we had wanted him to act, even though we never told the person what we had expected of him. A less qualified individual received the job or promotion we thought we deserved. We are going to loose something we already possess, or the world is out to get us because we are…? The list goes on ad infinitum!

However, these bad, or negative, experiences are just as important to our lives and state of mind as those experiences we see as being good or positive; for if the lessons these experiences are attempting to teach us continue to go unlearned, they will present themselves time after time after time until we either learn the lessons or we suffer and die because we failed to do so.

Who we are, or who we will become, depends mostly on our thinking, our outlook and our attitude. These three characteristics determine how well we will behave at any given time. If these traits are not too well nourished or developed, we will display negative and demented behaviors, such as the inability to see or accept another person’s view of life or the world in which we live. We will address only those issues as they pertain to us and our self-centered end.

Those of us who are not in touch with ourselves or with reality tend to defocus. We place our inability to live life on life’s terms at the feet of others. Those who are not in agreement with us or those who are different than ourselves, we see as lesser human beings. Whether the disagreement or difference is racial, social, financial or religious doesn’t really matter; because for many of us to feel good about ourselves, it is necessary for us to feel superior to someone else.

Because we have failed, or have refused, to learn the lessons life has been attempting to teach, many of us turn to mood altering chemicals as a means of easing the pain of living chaotic and frustrating life.

We are trapped in a self-made hell and we sooner or later fall prey to self- flagellation. If we are not castigating others, we are castigating ourselves. But somehow we manage to hide our true feelings behind a façade of knowledgeable arrogance and superiority, which is nothing more than a display of self-centered fear. And thus we continue through life like the ball in a pinball machine, bouncing from one obstacle to another, making quite a bit of noise as we go through life, but, like the ball, we eventually end up falling through the hole at the bottom of the machine!

Part II

It should be quite clear to any sane individual that if he has to debase another human being in order to feel good about himself that something is terribly wrong with his thinking! But this soul-sickness is not obvious to him who suffers from an overload of junk in his trunks, for he is an egomaniac who suffer from a severe case of low self-esteem. He constantly wears a mask. The face that he shows the world is not a true image of the person he really is. His true feelings are deeply buried under layer upon layers of warped and unresolved issues that he either ignorant of or chooses to ignore from fear of self exposure.

All manner of wickedness will exude from an individual who has a warped sense of self. This individual will often revert to demagoguery. He will seek to involve others who think as he does by appealing to their weaker side, their emotions and prejudices, and together they can, and often do, create chaos in the lives of those they see as being less than themselves. These people are forever at odds with something or someone, for they fail to realize that their criticism and hatred of others is slowly dragging them further down into the bowels of despair!

The Tenth Step adage states that when I’m upset, there’s something wrong with me. It doesn’t say that when I’m upset there’s something wrong with someone else. Our lives to a great extent are a matter of choice. We decide how we are going to live, whether we’re going to be happy or unhappy; and no one can change this unless we give them our permission to do so. There are few events in our lives of which we had no choice.

But in order to change the way we feel, we must first change the way we think. But to change a life that is ordered by warped thinking isn’t as easy as it sounds, for there are underlying reasons not to change. To the warped mind, change is the same as defeat. It means that you are not the person you have believed yourself to be. To change means you have to honestly admit that the people, places or things you point the finger at really had little to do with how you feel or your situation in life. You have to stop blaming others and take a long, hard and honest look at yourself. And when you do, you will discover that the main reason you blamed others for your shortcoming is that you refused to take responsibility for yourself and you are displeased and angry for making bad choices.

Almost daily, I see individuals who are being destroyed physically, mentally and spiritually by the demons of self-centered fear and hatred. These are willful people, people who will do almost anything to achieve their end. These are people who live miserable lives, regardless of their economic or social status. They will continue down the road of misery and pain until they find that speck of honesty that will free them from a lifetime of blaming others while actually hating themselves.

Author's Bio: 

Semaj Yorel is the author of the new and enlightening Ebook "Has Anyone Seen Me?" A sample chapter of his Ebook can be read at his websites: www.yorel29205.com or www.yorel29205.com/excerpt.htm. Send him an email at yorel29205@yahoo.com.