What You Can And Cannot Control

One of the biggest mistakes most entrepreneurs make is becoming emotionally controlled by factors that are totally OUT of their control. Such as: an impossible prospect, market trends, someone else's ultimate decision, attempting as 1 person to do the work of 5, unexpected cancellations, delayed transactions, other people's attitudes or opinions. And the list goes on - and on - and on - and - I think you get it. Have you ever had that experience? I thought so. So here's the point - STOP IT!

You are putting yourself through emotional stress that you don't need to. You are putting an unnecessary weight on your shoulders that slows you down and that will take you out of the game if you let it. Why do so many people attempt to control things they cannot?
It's actually rather simple. It's because MOST PEOPLE WANT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING! Call it ego, or dominance, a desire for power, or being overly aggressive. Sometimes it is actually initiated by a fear of being OUT of control. But this is a compulsion that strikes so many people. I believe entrepreneurs are more prone to this tendency because as a rule, we are very driven individuals. And drive, if not checked, can lead to compulsion. Sometimes compulsion can be a productive thing, but very often it is unhealthy.

Think about the price you have paid up to this point as a result of becoming emotionally CONTROLLED by things you cannot control. Think about the irony of that for a moment as well. If you were advising someone else on those very same issues, what would your advice be? Can you see the disconnect there? So what are some tools to address this?

The first is understand that there are basically 3 levels on the spectrum of control:
1. There is what you absolutely CAN control.
2. There is what you can exert a limited amount of control over.
3. And there is what you absolutely CANNOT control.
The place where things normally get most confusing is between areas 2 and 3.
1) Absolutely CAN Control 2) Exert Some Control 3) Absolutely CANNOT Control
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Once you are applying this, you must get crystal clear on what you absolutely cannot control. This is critical! Do whatever you have to on this - whether it means attaining a new level of honesty with yourself, observing recurring patterns or results up to this point, getting an objective, 3rd person perspective, whatever it takes.
In the coaching work I do, I find that very often just getting clear on this alone can be one of the biggest breakthroughs my clients can acquire. The bottom line is getting clear on spheres of control is a critical component of anyone's success blueprint.
Next, do your best to keep your mind rooted in what is occurring in the present moment, not what you believe will or could happen in the near, medium or distant future. You can work to create a better future and by all means please do that. But you cannot absolutely control what will happen in the future. A great book to read on this topic is called "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. I have no commercial interest in promoting this book, I simply recommend you read it.

And finally, when you have clearly identified what you absolutely cannot control, whatever it may have taken to figure that out, once you have identified it - LET IT GO! - LET IT GO! "But Mitch, you don't understand, it's not that easy, you don't know my situation, I...LET IT GO!!! "I've tried, but I just get so..." LET IT GO!!! How about this - just try letting go of it for a little while and see what happens. Okay?

If you need help in doing that, then get it. You'll be doing yourself a tremendous favor by doing that. Watch how much anxiety and stress seem to disappear once you do that. Life is challenging enough without trying to control those things you cannot. Don't you owe that to yourself?
Have a phenomenal week!

Yours In Success,
Mitch Harris
President
Communication Mastery

"If you are not concerned about the outcome of a circumstance, you will experience no fear. When you attach yourself to expectations, anxiety and fear will overcome you. The outcome will be what it will be, regardless of your expectations and fears."
- CHIN NING CHU

"Performing your duty without attachment or aversion is a great antidote to the poison of fear."
-BHAGAVAD GITA