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Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
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R-E-S-P-E-C-T: 25 Ways To Show It
Copyright 2004 Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

Convicted criminals report that their violent behavior was
caused by perceived disrespect.*

Everyone wants to be treated with respect, but respect means
different things to different people. It also means
different things in different cultures, so treating others
with respect often becomes a serious problem. If you want to
avoid offending someone by being disrespectful, you must
think about both what they need and how you act.

Respect sometimes means

1. Look at me¬make eye contact!
2. Don’t look at me.
3. Listen attentively when I speak
4. Respond to what I mean instead of to what I say. That
often means respond to my emotions as well as to my words.
5. Ignore my emotions when I am supposed to appear strong.
6. Keep the agreements you make with me.
7. Keep time agreements with me. Don’t keep me waiting.
8. Notice what seems to be important to me and comment on
9. Remember what I like and dislike.
10. Don’t force me to encounter things I hate.
11. Allow me my privacy.
12. Don’t ignore me.
13. Acknowledge everything I do well.
14. Don’t demean me by commenting on my expected work.
15. Offer to shake hands.
16. Never disagree with me.
17. Challenge my thinking.
18. Don’t interrupt me.
19. Interrupt me, it means you are listening and you care.
(New York)
20. Protect me.
21. Challenge me¬give me tough things to do.
22. Always speak in a calm way.
23. Match the energy of my excitement.
24. Always use my title.
25. Use my first name.

Yes, it is contradictory! How can you sort it out? First and
foremost, recognize that people are different from you and
from each other.

Be mindful of the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would
have them do unto you.”

Be even more mindful of the Platinum Rule, “Do unto others
as they would have you do unto them.”

Pay attention to how others respond to you and, when
possible, when you can do so without violating your own
principles, treat them as they expect and wish to be

*Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic .by James
Gilligan, MD

Author's Bio: 

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., author of Dare To Say It!, is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and author. For more simple secrets for turning difficult conversations into amazing opportunities for cooperation and success, visit or