Conflict is something that occurs in each and every person’s life. You can either spend a lot of time avoiding conflict at all costs or you can learn how to deal with it. Avoiding conflict is stressful. Consider the fact that the Law of Attraction is always at work. You will attract to yourself what you are focused upon. With that philosophy although you want to avoid conflict, you will have more conflict in your life.

Instead of focusing on the problem and trying to get away from where you don’t want to be, focus on the solution and where you want to go. Consider how you would like to be. Imagine how things would be different if you did not view conflict as a threat. If you took that approach, how would you respond differently? The outcome might not change, but the way you deal with it will change and that is significant.

Take a moment to consider that. The outcome might not change, but the way you deal with it will change and that is significant. You possess the ability to change how you perceive conflict. What would you like to change when you feel there is conflict? Conflict affects each person differently. You have a learned response. You can unlearn the way you usually respond to conflict and change your response.

When you have a conflict and are trying to avoid conflict at all cost, you are focusing on the differences. What I would suggest is for you to see if there is any common ground. Instead, find the similarities. Try to get beyond the words and look at the underlying issue this person might have.

The Law of Attraction can transform your perception for each and every event. Try to find the positive in a situation. If you can’t find something positive, then begin to look at the lessons from this experience. Even then, the answer is not always obvious right away. Try asking yourself “How is this person my teacher? What can be learned from this?” Even if you can’t find anything good about this person that you would want to emulate, then the teaching is that you get a reminder of how you don’t want to be with other people.

People have varying responses to conflict. Some create conflict, others avoid conflict and many have a variety of defense mechanisms in between. Where do you stand? Consider this, you will either act, or react, to things based upon your own unique experiences and perceptions. How do you respond to conflict when it occurs? How do other people you know respond to conflict? Similar? Different?

How you respond to someone has absolutely nothing to do with that person. Take a moment to think about that. What you perceive has nothing to do with anyone else. Also, what others perceive has nothing to do with you. When you are in a discussion where you would normally feel conflict, try to realize that you are responding to this person based upon your perceptions. Those perceptions come from prior experiences.

Imagine how you might respond differently if you took things less personally. Even when you’re blamed, it is usually not about you. It is about that person’s history, experiences and perceptions. This is what Gary Craig, the founder of the Emotional Freedom Techniques, calls “writing on your walls.” How you view the situation based upon your way of looking at the world will affect how you respond to anything, including conflict.

Activity: Based upon the concept by Gary Craig about the “writing on your walls” what did you learn about conflict? Consider how your parents responded to conflict. Do you respond like either of your parents? Write did you learn about conflict when you were young and growing up? View yourself as a mediator. What belief would you have about conflict then? What would be different from what you are doing now?

Author's Bio: 

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This article is by Loren Fogelman, the results based therapist, showing you how to master the marketing mindset to reach your peak potential to grow your business.