Divorce is a difficult enough experience, and when children are involved, most divorcing parents have to set aside their marital feelings and work together to co-raise children responsibly. The goal is not to have children survive divorce but to thrive.
However, many parents are so hurt, angry, confused or overwhelmed that they sometimes need some extra parenting guidelines.

Before getting divorced, parents should take preventative measures such as seeking counseling and trying new relationship skills. If a split up is unavoidable, then divorcing parents should sit down with their children together, whenever possible, and say to them the Divorced Parent Promise Guide. Families might even want to post this Guide in the kitchen or other rooms. No list can cover everything, but this guide is a great place to start. You can add your own promises.

Divorced Parent Promise Guide

1. You were conceived in love.
2. We both love you and want you in our lives.
3. You are not the reason we divorced.
4. We tried getting along and saw a counselor.
5. We will never abandon you.
6. We will make sure to get along so we can raise you together.
7. Your parents will not say bad things about each other.
8. We will not make you choose or be more loyal to one parent over the other.
9. We will learn about your needs and talents and help you with them.
10. We will not act out of guilt and overindulge you or back away from setting limits and consequences
11. We have enough money or will have enough money to take care of you.
12. We will not live with another partner—unless we are in love, get along, have known each other for a good amount of time and have set a date for the marriage, have gone for pre-marital counseling and promise that any new future partner loves you and knows how to be a good parent to you.

Author's Bio: 

Dr.LeslieBeth Wish, EdD, MSS, MA
Nationally noted Psychologist and Social Worker, Lic. as Clinical Social Worker, SW 7132 FL; 3941 MA; 2850 MD.
www.lovevictory.com
Be a part of the Strong Women and Love Research Project.
I am a psychologist and social worker, nationally recognized for my work with women's relationship and career issues and my work with soldiers and their families. I invite you to participate in my research by taking the survey, which you can find on my website, www.lovevictory.com. Click on the upper right Research Box to learn more. I will draw at random the names of three women who will win a free one-hour counseling phone session with me and a copy of the book when it is released.
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My work as the Clinical Director as the New England Institute of Family Relations, the first Masters and Johnson-based sexual dysfunction clinic in New England, and my research-based book, Incest, Work and Women (with my name as LeslieBeth Berger), earned me national recognition and honor as a pioneer in sexual dysfunction and women's love and career issues. My book uncovered the connection between women's childhood abuse and their career problems.
That research sparked my next ground-breaking project on the relationship problems of today’s strong, capable women, age 20-40+. I am writing this next book, Strong Women and Love to help women get over their mistrust, fears and unhappy, unhealthy dating patterns and learn to date and love smart!
I am a regular feature contributor to major self-help sites such as helpstartshere.org, the award-winning consumer site for the National Association of Social Workers; w2wlink the premier web community for professional women, networkabundance, a multimedia community and selfgrowth, Yahoo and Google's number one self improvement site, where I am the family expert.
My expert advice is frequently quoted in many major newspapers, magazines and websites such as The Washington Post, USA Today, Women's Health, US Weekly, More, VivMag, Better Homes and Gardens, Woman’s Day ,For the Bride. I am a speaker for non-profit, corporate and university organizations. I offer sound, research-based relationship advice that makes sense -- specializing in issues such as smart dating, women's relationship advice, career coaching, families, post-traumatic stress, sexual dysfunction, and leadership training.
My Education
University of Massachusetts, Doctorate in Adult Developmental Psychology; Bryn Mawr College, Master in Clinical Social Service; Georgetown University Medical School: The Family Center, three years-post graduate training in marriage and family with the internationally esteemed Dr. Murray Bowen; Ohio University, Masters in English; Carnegie-Mellon University, Bachelor in History and English.

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