We live in a world where “stressed out”, “multi-tasking”, and “exhausted” seem to be an accepted way to live. It is considered the norm to have one or all of these problems some or most of the time. Living life this way has its down side: relationships suffer; all of the demands put upon us create tension and even anger; and we lower our standards in order to complete our to-do list. In this mode we lose the dreams we wanted to achieve, lose confidence in our ability to find the joy and meaning in the work we do, and settle for less than we wanted.

How Thought Works

The first step to eliminating stress in your life is to understand how thought works. Brain research shows that each half of our brain supports a unique function. The left brain is analytical, sequential, and organizes our lives. The right brain is associated with intuition and creativity. Author Richard Carlson gives the mind two distinct functions which correlate. The computer mind is that part of our mind which organizes and stores information. It collects all of our experiences, everything we have observed, and generations of family and cultural beliefs. It also stores our behavior habits, like brushing our teeth or driving the car, without our having to think much about it. Our transmitter mind connects us to our natural brilliance and creativity. It provides new answers and insights that move us to a new level of expression.

Our reality follows our thinking. When we’re thinking “aint it awful”, it seems awful! When we think “I’ll never get this done”, we probably won’t! And when we think “Why are they doing this to me?” we give up our power and feel like a victim. The more attention we put on a thought, the quicker it becomes a reality.

So what is stress? Most people think stress is an event or circumstance in their lives that creates tension, anxiety or worry. When we see stress as something outside of ourselves, we tend to think there isn’t much we can do about it except live through it. There is a new view of stress. Even with physiological or mental stress related to a near accident on the road or the death of a loved one, there is a way to prevent long-term stress reactions. Stress is a feeling that comes out of what we are thinking. Shifting a thought is a simple solution to stress relief. For example, when we shift “I’ll never get this done” to “I’ll do one piece today and get help with the rest tomorrow” the feeling of stress disappears. Stress is a feeling that comes from what we think about an event or circumstance; stress is not the event or circumstance itself. We can control the thoughts we pay attention to regardless of our circumstances.

Check Your Thoughts

The second step to eliminating stress is to identify the perceived cause of your stress by checking your thoughts. We use the word perceived here because our perceptions are filters of thought that we carry from past experience. Perceptions are the way things look, formed out of our conventional belief systems. Just because it looks a certain way, doesn’t mean it is. Here we’re talking about thoughts stored in our computer mind, thoughts connected with our past experiences. We are talking about our thoughts, interpretations, and perceptions rather than the event or circumstance that triggered our stress. When you are feeling stress and want to change that feeling you must learn to check your thoughts, the source of long-term stress.

Thoughts Become Things

Understanding that thoughts become things is the third step to eliminating stress. Today athletic trainers coach their athletes to visualize the success they want to achieve. They are taught to see every part of their performance from beginning to end in their mind’s eye, until it becomes second nature. Combined with strength training this process has pushed the envelope beyond all previous records. Anything becomes possible through this focused thinking. The average guy or gal, without this training, tends to focus more on worries and concerns than success. When you focus on the struggle to pay your bills, the conflicts in your relationships, and the insecurity in the job market, then you create that reality. Your bills will increase as will the conflicts in your relationships. Your job may end sooner than you’d like. It is really important to recognize how thinking correlates with the reality of our lives.

We’ve all experienced feeling stressed, and stress has been so normalized by our culture and the media that we now expect to feel stress. It is up to us to choose if we want to live out our lives feeling stressed-out, irritable and cheated of the life we had hoped to have. Using this new approach for stress relief can give us the access and energy to reawaken our creative and lighthearted selves that are awaiting the chance to come out and play the game we call life at a higher and fuller level.

Excerpt from Activate Your Brilliance
Back to Brilliance ©2007

Author's Bio: 

Back to Brilliance: Living From the Inside Out, is a company dedicated to providing learning experiences focused on the key principles for creating brilliant lives. It is owned and operated by business partners, Lynne Hoft, EdD and Vivian Hildebrandt, MA, who are both veteran educators. Their books, ACTIVATE YOUR BRILLIANCE and STOP STRESS GUIDE; their educational programs: Stop Stress in Its Tracks, Master Your Mindset, and Keys to Brilliant Living: the Art of Living Happy; and their weekly E-zine: The Ultimate Treasure, all assist clients to gain stress relief, create a mindset for success, and create fulfilling lives and happiness..

Lynne and Vivian are experts in understanding feelings, thoughts, and stress management. For a broader understanding of feelings go to: http://www.backtobrilliance.com. For more information about creating a stress free life go to: http://www.backtobrilliance.com/stress