Are you in a dating 'rut'?

If you've been single for awhile it's quite possible you’re starting to feel a little resigned and unsure that Mr. or Mrs. Right will ever show up.

You know you're resigned when you’re having thoughts like....

"I can't find the right woman/man - what's the point in looking"
"I'm too busy to be in a relationship"
"I'm fine on my own"
"I'm afraid of being rejected, I'm not going to take any chances"

Once you start having those thoughts, your sending a clear message to the Universe (and to anyone you meet) to not bring you your heart's desire. Once you start giving up on the possibility of romance, the Universe will simply align with what you’re thinking and give it to you. If you walked into a job interview convinced that you wouldn't get hired you probably wouldn't be hired. The same principle applies in dating. Your thoughts trigger your behavior and send a clear message out into the world.

I recently went on a date with a man and told him during our evening that "this is a great first date". To my surprise, he got completely uncomfortable with the fact that I was viewing our evening as a date - even though I knew he was romantically interested in me and had asked me out. His unconscious response sent a clear message to me that he was definitely not ready to be dating. He may have liked the idea of dating me, but his response (behavior) showed me that there was still some healing he needed to do.

So what are YOU projecting out in the world? Are your thoughts triggering unconscious behavior? It's possible the right person isn't showing up because you’re sending the wrong messages. You could be meeting perfectly suitable people, but if "I'm afraid of being rejected" is running in the background, then you will potentially sabotage any possibility that presents itself.

3 Steps to Get Out Of Your Own Way

1/ You must check in with yourself and see if you have done the necessary healing from your past relationships. Look for recurring negative patterns, attracting drama, etc.. Hire a coach or counselor, attend a personal growth workshop. You need something BIGGER than you to step in and guide you.

2/ Focus on your goal and align your thoughts accordingly. For example, do you say that you WANT a relationship, but BELIEVE that you’re not attractive enough? It's time to stop listening to the 'inner critic' and start focusing on what you DO like about yourself. A great exercise is to ask a friend what they like about you!

3/ Make a list of all the qualities of your Ideal Mate. Put pen to paper and get really clear about what you want, value and need to have to make them ideal for you. People don't think twice about putting time, effort and research into shopping for a car or home and the same care and attention applies when you’re shopping for a mate.

©2008 Life Cycles Relationship Seminars Ltd., Copyrights Reserved

Author's Bio: 

Kim Sarrasin is a Relationship Expert, Mentor and Speaker who helps men and women “Solve the mystery of the opposite sex”. Want to learn about simple ways to relate with the opposite sex, have more fun dating and discover how you can get all your needs met? Then check out her website, , to find out more about how her Dating & Relating Weekend Workshop and to sign up for her FREE audio mini-workshop "5 Essential Steps for Dating Success”.