Today I offer you a gift; a gift that you have always had, and you may not even know it yet. This is a gift I speak of in my inspirational talks; a gift that is central to much of my coaching; a gift I celebrate in my life daily, a gift that continues to unfold; this gift is the gift of choice.

I talk about choice in so much of what I do…choice and the unlimited possibilities that exist for all of us. Today I am offering you a step by step formula to begin to become aware of your choices, any choices; especially the places in your life where it may seem there is no choice (and yes there is)… a guaranteed formula…the catch? You have to use it in order for it to work. Yes, just like any other change you make: developing a new skill, exercising a new set of muscles, getting a new behavior or thinking pattern programmed from unconscious incompetence toward unconscious competence.

Regarding the formula, it does invite and assume that we are responsible adults and that everything we do, is our choice. This is sometimes difficult for many people to believe. We are taught in our culture to place blame and place responsibility for our choices onto others, (my wife, my boss, the kids, the guy in traffic); or onto circumstances (the economy, the job market, the housing market, the weather!) thus giving up our personal power and personal responsibility. Everything we do is our choice; it is the learning of the unfolding and multi-layers of choice that we grow in our ability to choose and thus our ability to create the life we love!

Here is the formula for beginning to make choice more conscious:
Start with simple choices…you don’t want to start with some of the most difficult or largest life choices you have had to make! Start easy, just like a physical exercise program… get used to the routine!

Now, for any issue in your past that you have already experienced, ask yourself:

1. Is this a choice?

2. Answer, “yes it is or was!”
3. Make the declaration: “It was my choice.”

4. State: “this is what I chose and this is why I chose it.” Then answer the question,why I chose it. (this can be tricky, really ask yourself, what are you wanting here?)

5. State: “This is the action I took”, this is what I did, the behavior, words, actions that you took.

6. State: “This is the consequence of my choice, of my action.” This is the result or effect of my action.

7. Ask, “Was that a choice?” and answer, “yes it was” After this, you can again ‘decide’; to continue with your choice and actions or to change them, it’s just that simple!

Let me give you an example of a fairly simple choice…. (my example of choice in quotes)

1. "I wore my green jacket". Is this a choice?

2. Answer, “yes it is or was!”

3. Make the declaration: “It was my choice.”

4. State: “this is what I chose and this is why I chose it.” Then answer the question,why I chose it. "I chose to wear it because I like to look bright and dressy; I like to make an impression that lasts…the child in my likes the bright colors and the teenager in me likes to ‘dress sharp’."

5. State: “This is the action I took”, this is what I did, the behavior, words, actions that you took. "I wore the green jacket."

6. State: “This is the consequence of my choice, of my action.” This is the result or effect of my action. "I was ‘bright and dressy’; my impression is that I was perceived as a bit ‘out their’, less than traditional and maybe even fun and daring!"

7. Ask, “Was that a choice?” and answer, “yes it was”

We have choice in all we do. Often, we are unaware of our choice and thus diminish our personal power. Remember, this is a process that you can use to begin to train yourself in becoming conscious of your choice points so PLEASE choose to use it with easy choices, one’s that you have made in the past.

An important point: beginning to practice the process working with past easier choices is a way to train your unconscious mind in a new pattern of thinking. Once you follow the process regularly, you will then be able to begin noticing your current choice points, and decide for each and any thing that you want to create. Practice,notice, and decide… it’s your choice!

To find out more about your choice points and increasing your personal power, visit www.trulyhumancoaching.com or write Jim at jim@trulyhumancoaching.com.

The information about choice can be credited to the folks at Lucid Living (www.lucidliving.net) and Lazaris materials (www.lazaris.com).

Author's Bio: 

Jim is a Personal Life and Relationship Coach, Certified Trainer of NLP, an Inspirational Speaker and published author. He has been quoted for his coaching and training expertise in the Boston Globe, Fitness Magazine and in Crain’s Chicago Business.

Jim is the President of Truly Human Coaching where he provides personal and couples coaching for individuals and couples seeking very personal and intimate change and growth.

For the last 25 years, Jim has helped thousands of people to live more of the life they truly want. From social service to business management; from family therapy to training professionals; Jim has helped people create meaningful connections with others, including the most meaningful of connections, with ourselves.

In his free time, Jim loves deep intimate times with his beautiful wife Connie; quality time with his children; as well as writing, reading meditating, exercise, marital arts, spiritual development, cooking and grocery shopping.