* I so wanted this to be a brief, quirky, interesting article... maybe four, five hundred words tops.
A thousand words later... here it is.
I can't help myself.
I think I talk too much.
I need help.

School report from 1977:
"Craig has a propensity to be somewhat verbose and distracting in class".

So not fair.
So misunderstood.

Okay.. that's it.
I'm gonna do my best to be more concise.
Maybe I need to take a workshop.
Oops.. I'm still doing it.
I'm still adding words aren't I?
Okay, that's it.
I'm done.

Okay, one more.
Bugger.. that was three.

Have you ever noticed how ugly some people are?


Completely unattractive.
Repulsive even.
Stinky, stanky, skanky.

Now before you all recoil in shock, horror and disgust at my new level of political incorrectness (it's a word... now), I best mention that I'm not talking about anyone's looks or appearance here, but rather... their behaviour, their disposition, their attitude, their language and their habits.

Some people (even some of the the 'beautiful people'... although that subject is a whole post by itself... what is beauty anyway?) repel, rather than attract.

And while it may seem ironic that the aesthetically-challenged, forty three year-old, ex-fat kid should give advice on improving one's attractiveness... keep in mind that I'm not talking about 'how to be a hottie 101'... that's next week.

And I won't be writing it.

No, this post is actually about learning to become one of those people that others want to hang around, be with, talk to, get to know.

Some people are attractive.

That is, they attract.

Guys, girls, old, young.
People just enjoy being around them.
There's something about them that's appealing, magnetic.
People want to get to know them.
They're funny, they're engaging, they're charismatic.
They're likable.
They smell good. (read on)

Here goes:

1. Listen to people and be genuinely interested.
This doesn't mean simulated interested and manufactured head nodding either.
This takes real time, energy and effort.
If you want people to be drawn to you... you need to be all about them, not you.
Talk to them... not at them.
Have conversations... don't give lectures.
Some people are ugly because the only voice they enjoy the sound of, is their own.
And the only opinion that matters is theirs.

2. Get in shape.
We know that attractiveness is largely not about the physical, but if you genuinely want to attract then being in shape ain't gonna hurt.
Not Mr Universe... or Miss world... just fit and healthy.
Being in shape (physically) also helps us emotionally and psychologically, which in turn makes us more attractive!
Clever that.

3. Personal grooming and hygiene.
Okay this is my last comment on the physical but it's necessary.
It doesn't matter if we look like Angelina or Brad... if we've got breath like a Buffalo and armpits like a Yak... we're attracting nobody!
For goodness sakes, how can some people not smell themselves ! !
I regularly talk to people who stink (and not just 'cause I own gyms)... and everyone except them knows.
When I'm chatting to someone with stinky breath (I mean, "have you got a dead marsupial in your mouth" stinky), I can't concentrate.
I can't think about anything except the smell.
It distracts me.

"Hey Tiger.. you know that layer of white crap on your tongue.. it STINKS!"

Clean your teeth, fart breath !

Water, soap, shampoo, toothpaste.. all cheap and easily accessible resources; give 'em a go.

4. Be an optimist.
This doesn't mean don't be practical and don't be a realist... but nobody wants to hang out with Mr (or Mrs) woe-is-me-my-life's-so-hard. Hey.. I care about global warming but I don't want to have a three hour conversation with you about why the world is ending next week and who's fault it is. Yes we live in a nasty, dysfunctional, scary world... but what if we decided that it's actually an amazing, exciting, incredible place with infinite opportunities for those who dare to be different.
What if we decided to see the good rather than search for (and focus on) the bad.
Now that... is attractive.

5. Have fun with people.
Remember fun?
Remember laughter?
Remember laughing so hard you thought you'd be sick or die from lack of oxygen.
Those were the days.
Remember when fart jokes were funny.
Before we got all mature, politically correct, precious and easily offended.
People who laugh and have fun are cool to be around.

6. Don't lose your temper.
Bad tempered people are ugly.
They repel, not attract.
This doesn't mean don't get angry.
Anger has a place.
But out-of-control, ranting, raving, unreasonable idiots need a (loving) slap.

I'll do it!

If you have anger management issues, address them.
Or if you need me to slap you...

7. Random acts of kindness.
Generous, selfless, thoughtful, kind people are the most attractive.
No agenda, no crap.
Just kindness.

8. Get Spiritual.
Not to be confused with... get weird and freaky.
This suggestion definitely needs a disclaimer.
Getting spiritual (whatever that means for you) can make you more attractive.
Or not.
If your spiritual journey results in you being more centred, balanced, calmer, more insightful and happier.. well then that's cool.

Conversely, if it means that you end up being some weirdo, fanatical, super-religious, zealot living in some subterranean bunker surviving on canned food and crawling out of your hole at night to communicate telepathically with your brothers from another galaxy... maybe not so cool!
Or if it means hurting or hating someone who has different spiritual beliefs to you, not cool.
At all.

9. Be confident.
Not to be confused with being arrogant.
Quiet confidence is attractive.

10. Be humble.
Definitely one of the most universally attractive and desirable qualities.
Humility is a decision, an attitude, a philosophy.
A way of living, being and communicating.
It's attractive.

Now, I'm gonna go and tell that guy where I buy my paper about the white crap on his tongue and why he's got no buddies.
And don't get me started on that stuff in the corner of his mouth.
What is that?

See ya.

Author's Bio: 

Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is an Australian motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world.

He can be heard weekly on Australian Radio SEN 1116 and GOLD FM and appears on Australian television on Channel 31's 'Living Life Now' and Network Ten's '9AM'.

Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper