***Taking Life Less Seriously

"I don't want to be controlled by food (or alcohol, poverty, unsatisfying relationships, etc.). I just want to feel good. I know there is more to life than this." Although filled with anguish, these are beautiful words. They signify the beginning of new possibilities. Your current life may no longer be satisfying, but it is magnificent for the understandings it brought. Even though change is desired, and your facing difficult emotions, it is possible to create change without going into battle against yourself. Here are a few tips for stepping forward while taking life a little less seriously:

1. If you've taken a few detours in life, perhaps forgotten your true purpose, or are feeling lost and empty, don't worry so much. Everything is all right, and all your experiences are immensely valuable, even if you can't see it in this exact moment. You will. You are a capable, empowered, self-adjusting, self-balancing human being. You will set yourself back on the appropriate course.

2. Evaluation is a process that connects the past, present, and future you. Visit all of those realms, reflect if you made decisions that feel good, and then decide if you choose to engage in the deliberate creation of a new potential future. The "you" from the past brought you to this present moment. She or he brings the wisdom that only direct experiences can provide. The present "you" is able to review, synthesize past experiences, pluck the positive from them, and recognize certain patterns. Only the present "you" can decide you are lovable enough, right now, to make new choices, which in turn will create new future "you" experiences.

3. When experiencing emotions, see yourself as a person having an important life experience. Emotions are a valuable source of information to guide us in decision-making, motivate our success, and tell us accurately what to move away from and what to move toward.

4. Be responsible for generating emotions that feel good. Putting attention on the final goal, delaying satisfaction until reaching a final point of success, and motivating with force takes all the life out of a journey. It's hard to know you're winning, and even harder to keep going in the absence of acknowledgment of success, and rewards. When we don't think we're winning it's easy to quit and walk away.

5. Learn to enjoy your own company! The greatest gift you could give to yourself would be the acceptance of your experiences. Sitting with emotions as we would sit with good friends, we learn the language of our body's first-hand. We teach ourselves that we are not victims, and that we do have the inner resources to face challenges. While we would rather not have had to experience difficult life experiences, we learn there is meaning in the deepest sorrows. Difficult experiences and emotions can be turning points altering our perspectives on life, offering healing and personal growth.

6. Ask yourself, "What actions can I take to nurture or love myself while I am feeling these difficult emotions?" In addition, remind yourself that even though you are feeling the uncomfortable sensations of emotional energy:

• My life has meaning.
• There is value in what I am feeling.
• It's okay to feel what I am feeling.
• We all have happy and unhappy emotions; feelings do not last forever.
• The world is safe, I'm safe, and I don't have to be happy every moment.
• This too shall pass.
• I can choose tenderness even while I am in this unhappy place

7. Challenges provide opportunities to give up our sense of impending doom. They offer a chance to think differently, act differently, and have faith. You are capable and able to love yourself no matter what challenges you face. Acknowledge doubt and fear, and then open your heart to self. You are safe in this very moment, and tomorrow will come. Anxiety is not dangerous - it's just uncomfortable. Venture into your own heart and you will find the love and calm you seek. Practice breathing, and deciding to relax and calm down. Right now you have feelings and thoughts you don't like, and that's okay. You don't have to fight these feelings. Open your heart and accept the fact that some aspects of who you are feel scared and uncertain. Offer yourself some much needed reassurance of the overall positive expectation of life.