Believe me I think it’s great that I can be more effective at what I do because I can delegate chores and needs that others do better or for less, leaving me more time to do what I like and can do best - but it is a choice, not a necessity.

Somewhere along the way we have forgotten how to take care of our needs and feel good about what we need. We even have trouble asking for what we need from those closest to us.

Here are some thoughts on the matter.

We can achieve stress relief if we learn massge. There is a secret to it however,and if you read further you will find out that this secret will make massage more enjoyable for the giver and the receiver.

There are some simple other things that most people take for granted that you can do to give yourself some stress relief.

• Learn how to create a budget, balance a checkbook and manage your money
• Learn how to ride a bicycle
• Learn how to find your way home if you’re lost in nature (or in the city jungle)
• Learn CPR and first aid
• Learn how to drive a stick shift
• Learn how to iron a shirt, sew on a button and hem a skirt
• Learn about cars - change a tire, jumpstart, change your oil or replace a fuse
• Learn about electrical work - change a light bulb, replace a switch and a fuse
• Learn how to shop and cook meals from scratch for yourself and others
• Learn how to give a great massage
• Learn basic html and build a simple website

Lets get back to massage as an example of stress relief and anxiety because it is recommended in the book Anxiety Ended- Regain Your Freedom And Overcome Your Fears .

I believe that everyone has the inherent knowledge of how to touch with skill and awareness. We are born with it and when challenged we know how to comfort as well as rub, hold, caress, stroke and rock ourselves and others when there is pain or discomfort. No teacher necessary.

But it seems that over time we reduce this activity to the occurrence of emergencies, acute pain and then extend it only to immediate family, to ourselves or ultimately drop it altogether as we lose the connection to our bodies in a culture that celebrates the visual but denies the physical. This has developed to an extent that touching has become a taboo and is regulated in policies and laws, especially in the workplace. Not that it has not become necessary, since clearly abuse and harassment are prevalent, but at the same time it has added to the message that physical proximity is not ok.

So when I say everyone should learn how to give a great massage I am talking about reviving the ability to relieve pain and provide comfort in a way that does not invade a person’s personal space. It is a service that is unconditional and does not require the receiver to reciprocate in any way, shape or form.

Being able to give a great massage is about uncovering that inherent skill that resides in every one of us, and reminding ourself what it means to be of unconditional service. The strokes and movements applied even during a “professional” massage are secondary and can be learned with ease once inspired by the deeper understanding of service.

Since no exchange on a personal level is expected, there is no agenda. The fact that a professional massage therapist is paid for their service should not interfere with this balance as the exchange occurs on different levels. The therapist is paid for their time, not for their care. Between friends and family giving a massage to sooth, relieve pain, to comfort or balance does not include any expectation to receive any favor in exchange. It is just a pure giving.

When massage is given with no expectations including an outcome of any kind, there is no agenda Since there is no agenda, the one who gives can be completely present in the moment and need not strategize or project ones own beliefs onto the other. This in itself is the core of all healing.

The basic necessary massage techniques (the “strokes”) can be learned in under 100 hours of classroom time. Well worth the effort for a skill that can be used over a lifetime. Achieving the necessary underlying state of mind and heart is not always facilitated, as this is something that cannot be learned but rather needs to be understood. And of course to comply with governing law, there are other subjects that need to be studied before licensing can occur and the student may practice on the general public.

But for me the most important element of this process is uncovering and understanding the principles of being in the moment with no agenda and letting a deeper insight guide the process.

You may never want to use the skills learned to make money, or you may find that in the process of helping yourself or a loved one with stress and anxiety you have found something that has given you what you need on a personal level and has become the ticket out of your own anxiety.

Knowledge, for whatever reason we aquire it always has obvious benefits and underlying positive spillover effects.

I am a great believer in the power that comes from inside each of us. The secret is to go and look within yourself and honestly make that effort to peel back the layers of your inner self to reveal all of the positives and negatives. Seeing the negatives about yourself is not a problem. You must acknowledge all parts of yourself if you expect to find a way out of anxious thoughts, stress, depression and even panic attacks.

Pick up your own copy of Anxiety Ended- Regain Your Freedom And Overcome Your Fears and you too can learn skills and techniques that will get you on the road to anxiety and stress relief.

We find your comments and opinions helpful and enlightening. Keep them coming.

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Author's Bio: 

For 40 years, 7 months, 4 days and 3.9 hours I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, especially after my heart attack on Aug 12th,5:00amEST 2006.
As a result of my suffering, I decided I would go on a crusade to reveal the most powerful,most effective and most successful system for living an Anxiety and Panic Free Life”- Lorraine Roach,Founder- Visit to discover what 99.2% of ALL anxiety and panic sufferers do wrong,and how to make sure YOU avoid it.