Stop the Leaks and Reframe

Here is a great technique I have been using in my coaching practice. I call it “Stop the Leaks and Reframe.”

Have you ever found yourself obsessing about a situation that doesn’t seem to be working for you? It could be an unbalanced relationship; a frustrating situation at work with your boss, co-worker or company policies that just don’t make sense. Or, maybe you’re depressed with your body size, shape or overall health. Whatever the case, you find yourself entangled in the situations of life. Your “energy well” has become depleted. You feel, drained, off balance and unable to find your center.

The first step in the solution is to “Stop the Leaks!” The top three energy leaks are caused by: 1. perception 2.obsessing 3. stressing. When you live in a state of stress and frustration, you are like a container with holes in it. When you are constantly thinking about your problems, all the energy you pour into this container to move throughout your day leaks out. As a result you become drained, exhausted, and frustrated. Stressful living then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

The first step in stopping the leaks is to get honest and take an assessment of the situation. I always call on The Serenity Prayer for guidance.

“God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

First, name the things you cannot change in the situation. You cannot change other people’s way of thinking, feeling, or behaving. You cannot change the way others express themselves in the world. Stop trying! There are predetermined situations in your life you can do nothing about. Accept them. Without acceptance, you will not stop the leaks. Until you stop leaking your energy into things you cannot change, you will always be un-empowered in life.

As you take time to assess stressful situations, ask for the wisdom to be discerning in the things you cannot change. Ask for the courage to change the things you can change. (perception, obsession, etc.) Move into the mindset of acceptance.

The second step in the solution is to “reframe.” Now that you’ve stopped the leaks and are at a place of acceptance, you are ready to reframe. Reframing is about recreating the scenario in your mind to one that works for you. One that brings you peace and makes you feel OK. In other words, you have the power within your mind to tell the story in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.

In an unbalanced relationship, stop expecting someone else to make you feel a certain way. Accept and take responsibility for the way you feel and how you process and express your feelings. Then, reframe the relationship in your mind into one that you express your love and respect to your partner. You become the one who feels loving. Living and acting from this place of love changes the dynamics of the relationship.

If you are frustrated about a situation at work, stop blaming, projecting and attacking others. Stop the leaks. Reframe the position you have at your job into one that brings you peace. As you work day by day with this attitude of peace and empowerment, you will be amazed how work seems to change around you.

Apply these same concepts to body issues. Stop being angry and critical about your body. Begin to reframe your relationship with your body into one that is more loving, peaceful, and accepting. Your body will respond with more energy and strength.

I challenge you this week to change a situation in your life by using this process. Experience how fulfilling and overflowing with abundance your life can truly become when you “Stop the Leaks and Reframe.”

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Author's Bio: 

Sharon Marquart is a Certified Life and Spiritual Coach, Public Speaker, Teacher and Published Author. Her coaching practice is, Living at Yes, (You Embracing Spirit). She inspires and motivates others to embrace the Spirit of life, to Know their Presence, to Feel their Power and to Live their Passions. Sharon is committed to motivate and inspire others to live their best life. Sharon has written “Living With Soulful Purpose, “ “9 Steps to a Happier Healthier You,” and “4 Principles for Living Abundantly.” She can be reached at or e-mail Sharon