Do a Google search for “dates from hell”, and you just might crash their servers. There are tons of websites devoted to subject. One described a guy who talked about his ex-girlfriend all night, then drove by his ex’s house a few times because he was “concerned for her welfare”. Another told the story of a girl who made another date for later that evening, over her cell phone, during dinner. I’m sure you have a few war stories of your own. You know what I think?

There are no bad dates.

“No bad dates??” you’d tell me. “You’ve obviously never spent an evening with Mr/Ms. X who thought the silverware was speaking to them…in Klingon”. Maybe not, but so long as you were not in any danger or got hurt in any way, it wasn’t that bad. It probably only lasted a few hours, and you must have found some humor in that person across the table, waiting for the mothership. Cross Captain Kirk off of your list and chalk it up to a learning experience.

The important thing is to not get discouraged and give up on dating completely. Stick with it, and keep looking to make that connection. Here are three quick tips:

Release yourself from expectation.
Never “expect” your date to be “the one”, no matter how cute or nice they are initially. You set the date up to be a disaster by your unrealistic expectations. It creates undue pressure and leads you on a scavenger hunt for faults in the other person. Relax, enjoy the process, and don’t focus on an “end result” that you have invented for yourself.

It's all about attitude! Your mindset is what determines the quality of any experience. If you approach your date with a good attitude, there are no bad dates. Each experience is a step towards finding the person that is right for you.

Go out on as many dates as possible.
The way to that right person is through a lot of not-the-right persons. The more dates you have, the more opportunities you make for yourself. Mr. or Ms. Right will not come knocking on your door while you are watching TV. Date, date and then date some more, the process is the answer.

Meet many people that might be possible dates.
A positive dating attitude gives you endless opportunities to meet the right person.
Don’t rule out any method or avenue, and try them all: speed date, people at the gym, through friends, or online - even Aunt Millie’s set up. Do it all!

The Internet is fast becoming one of the best and most accepted ways to meet people. They call it online dating, but it should really be called online meeting, since you don’t actually date until you physically get together. It is, however, a melting pot of interesting people and opportunities. There are ways to meet people online safely and with great success! Go to The and get your free book, “Tools to Online Dating” and become a successful dater with no bad dates!

Author's Bio: 

Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") has been a public consultant and a private counselor for over 15 years. A Cognitive Therapist, Radio host and Columnist, Devlyn maintains a thriving practice in Hollywood, where he counsels famous actors, musicians and captains of industry. His new book, Relationship Tools, will be available soon. You can hear Coach Steele live every Tuesday on LoveBeat Radio 1310 7-9 PM. Arizona Time. Visit his website at