The standard definition of selfish goes something like this ...

Limited to or caring only about yourself and your own needs or lacking regard for the rights or feelings of others; "shockingly inconsiderate behavior".

Yet, we observe the world through our eyes, ears, tastes, emotions and personal experiences.

How can we not be selfish?

In the book, The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther Hicks, being selfish is considered a fundamental principle of life. "You cannot be other than selfish, for you cannot observe, perceive, or be other than from your perspective of self. All points of consciousness, even one celled organisms perceive. And they do so from the ever-changing selfish perspective that they currently hold."

Frankly, without individual personal awareness and extreme self care - selfishness, we render ourselves empty and emotionally malnourished. If we we neglect ourselves, how can we be of service to others? Is it possible that our learned aversion to being selfish has created millions of martyred - masochistic human beings?


My definition of selfishness is ... Loving myself enough to create time for daily activities that honor who I am. Practicing this sort of extreme self care allows me to be a better wife, mother, life coach, mentor, and friend.

The first step to embarking on a journey of self care is to make one small change and see what kind of impact it has upon your life.

The following ideas are designed to help you become more kind and loving to yourself. How can this be a BAD thing?

Here goes ...

* Create some ‘YOU’ time. Everyone needs time alone to meditate and recharge. Start with 2-5 minutes for silent reflection. Read a few pages in a book, take a walk, make a yummy new recipe. It really doesn't matter what you do, as long as it's all about YOU.

* What do you truly want? Are you living your life according to your dreams and desires? Take time to figure out what makes you tick. If you want to explore this idea further, check out the True Balance Life Coaching Life Balance E-Course.

* Record your ideas . It doesn't matter how far fetched they may be. Have fun letting your ideas fly! I use a large white board and lots of colored markers to boldly state my unconventional intentions as a creative outlet.

* Journal. Self Expression by journaling is a marvelous tool for clearing your mind. One of the best lessons in the book, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, is creating morning pages. Morning pages consist of three handwritten pages of free thinking - psychobabble journaling daily. It's a blast to witness and record your thoughts as they hop around the page like a juiced up water bug on the river.

* Log all of your “happy moments.” Each day has potential for many small moments that bring joy and happiness. My family shares five "happy moments" each night at the dinner table. We've found this is an excellent way to stay positive and learn more about each other.

* Move your body every day. When we are caught up in crossing items off our to-do lists, we tend to neglect all the opportunities there are to enjoy our bodies in the process of living. Whether you dance, walk, run or ride, your body and spirit will thank you for the gift. Get up and move your butt!

Should you need inspiration in your exploration of extreme self care, a professional life coach can help you discover your dreams, set big goals, and assist you in moving forward with deliciously selfish and satisfying life.

"I have been a selfish being all my life, In practice, though not in principle." - Jane Austen

Author's Bio: 

For 15 years, Shann Vander Leek has inspired sales professionals and entrepreneurs. Telephone and email consultations make her accessible to clients all over the world. Please visit to sign up for your complimentary Life Balance E-Zine.