As if Self-Love isn’t hard enough as it is, it can become really muddled when we add our own children to the mix. Everyone has needs and demands and as a mother it can seem impossible to take care of our selves when we have so many other people and things to take care of.

More often than not we can’t do everything as well as we would like to and when we don’t we inevitably feel guilty; that ugly word that I refer to as poison when I talk about self-love.

Guilt means that we have done something wrong or bad that has caused pain for someone else. Because of our societal belief system around guilt there is subconscious programming that says if we are guilty we must be punished. This programming creates the self-sabotage so many of us are plagued with.

Also, what happens when we feel guilty as mothers or parents in general we become weakened and we will have a tendency to not do what we know is good for our children. Like saying “no”.

When we feel guilty about not having enough time for our kids, or yelling too much, or being divorced we can sometimes allow our kids to do things we would rather them not do. We may feel that we have already let them down or have disappointed them in some way so we let them have this or that or do this or that.

Then we can go into frustration and anger because we have given more than we wanted to give. This can very quickly become a dangerous cycle because it doesn’t take kids long to see a pattern by which they can get what they want and begin to play that pattern. A cycle of exhausting guilt, begging, and frustration ensues.

There is a very basic spiritual rule that clearly applies here; “if it serves me, it serves everyone; if it doesn’t serve me, it serves no one.”

What I mean by serves is that if it is in your highest good, which means brings you joy then it is in everyone’s highest good. For instance staying in an unhappy marriage does not serve you by any means and if it’s not serving you it’s not serving the kids. They know subconsciously everything that is going on. Not only do the feel the discordant energy and know intuitively that something is not right they are also learning by your example to sacrifice themselves for others just as you are doing. That is not Self-Love.

The greatest way to teach our kids to love themselves is to demonstrate Self-Love. We can only do that when we are guilt free. To be guilt free you can tap on the guilt when it comes up. Don’t always wait for a quiet time, for some topics it may be good to tap in front of the kids so that they can see you deal with your negative emotions in a positive way.

You may say:

Even though I feel guilty that I don’t have enough time for the kids, I’m divorcing their father, I don’t like to cook, I can’t afford camp, etc. I deeply and completely love, accept, and forgive myself. Say this at least 3 times.

Then follow on the tapping points with words similar to:

This guilt and shame
I wanted to be a better mom
I’m disappointed in myself
This guilt and shame
I should sacrifice myself.
Good moms give everything and I’m too weak
This guilt and shame
This guilt and shame

After a few rounds of this go into the positive with something similar to

But maybe this is just a story
And it’s a lousy story
I can give myself permission to release this story
I can release this story
I choose to release this story and feel peaceful and calm
I can love myself
As I love myself I can love my kids even more
I can love myself and feel peaceful and calm
I do love myself
I do feel peaceful and calm
Peaceful and calm
I can love myself.

Unfortunately many of us have been taught that we must choose between loving ourselves and loving our children, but the truth is we can’t deny our selves and be any good to our kids. We must take time to fill our own well so that we can give freely. When the well is empty we become angry and resentful and even if we can fake it our kids can feel it. Emotional Freedom Technique is an amazing way to fill your well quickly.

Saturday, June 28 I am offering my “Fall in love…with your Self” workshop. We will have lots of fun and spend a lot of time tapping away guilt, shame, fear and blame so that we may more easily love ourselves and our children. If you register by calling me by June 23 you save $75. Register now for only $150, this includes a healthy lunch. I guarantee you will release issues you thought would take months or years to heal. Embrace freedom now and call today. 480-203-2546

Workshop details are below.
Also remember I’m running Amazing Summer Specials!!!

Personal 4-week Transformation Program: only $900 (reg. 1800.00)

Group 6-week Tele-Group Transformation Program: only $600 (reg. 1327.00)

Emergency EFT Session: only $95 (reg. $150.00)

Single Sessions: only $225 (reg. $500.00)

When: Saturday, June 28
9:00 am - 1:30 pm

Cost: $225.00 includes a healthy lunch

Where: Intuitive Development Center
11223 N. 28th Dr.
Building F #101 (Lakeside Center)
Phoenix, AZ 85029

This will be an incredible morning of new awareness and transformation!

Register now by visiting or calling 480-203-2546. Space is Limited. Registration must be received by June 26.

Author's Bio: 

Michelle Lee, Certified hypnotherapist, EFT Practitioner and Soul Practitioner specializes in Self-Love. Michelle understands that Self-Love is our only path to enlightenment. Because we are all expressions of love when we fall in love with ourSelves we are falling in love with God. Self-love is the natural prerequisite to authentic harmony, peace, joy, love and success.