As we encounter a situation, our mind-set greatly affects our outcome. Asking ourselves the right question can help us to look in the right direction, and so find the right answer.

1. When meeting someone new - What can I learn from this person?

2. When a situation distresses you - Is this situation mutable (can it be changed) or is it outside my sphere of influence?

3. When a distressing situation can be changed - What can I do to make this situation better?

4. When the situation can't be changed - How can I change the way I see things/think about this (reframe the situation) so that I will be less upset?

5. When feeling called upon to make a choice between two things or situations - Is there a good reason why I can't have/do both? (This probably should not apply to intimate relationships!)

6. When overwhelmed with anger or other strong feelings - What is the threat that makes me feel this way? Is it real or is it conjuring up feelings from the past that are actually irrelevant to what is happening right now?

7. When there are good reasons for the feelings - How can I clearly channel and express my feelings without backing anyone else into a corner? (So leaving room for reparation and a non-escalation of the situation.)

8. When overwhelmed with anxiety - Is this something that will have a serious effect on my life in two weeks? Two months? Will the sky really fall?

9. When feeling pressured to make a quick decision - Does the person doing the pressuring have something to gain by forcing me into a quick decision?

Will I lose anything important by insisting on a little time before deciding?

10. When the quick decision really IS necessary - How do the alternatives fit with what is TRULY of value to me over the long-term?

Author's Bio: 

About the Submitter:
This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal & Career Coach, who can be reached at , or visited on the

Diana Robinson wants you to know: As a Coach, I work with clients who are ready to grow and change, who know that there is more to life than they are presently experiencing, and who are eager reach out for it. I offera free e-mail newsletter, Work in Progress, and a free half-hour phone coaching session. I'd love to hear from you.

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