Riding The Wave Of Change

published in the May issue 2008 of
“Personal excellence publication”

By Edwige Gilbert

Have you ever been told you are “the best kept secret?” I know that when a client says that to me, it’s meant as a compliment, but it also tells me that I could be doing a better job of telling my story to a wider public. That’s an important insight because my story is not about me; it’s about the people who need the services of a wellness and Life coach. The background to my story is the pervading anxiety and growing sense of impending doom so many people are struggling against today, with the U.S. economy in freefall, an unpopular war with no end in sight, the deluge of breaking news and electronic communications 24/7. In the private realm, we are surely setting new record highs in our stress levels: deadlines, money worries, job concerns, family conflicts, difficult decisions to make daily. It’s no surprise that many of us seek solace in unhealthy behaviors such as overindulging in comfort foods, drinking, smoking, gambling and holding endless “Why me?” pity parties, even if just in our own minds.

At times like these the demand for wellness and Life coaches should be at an all-time high. The human spirit instinctively knows that what it craves is balance, harmony, equilibrium, and those of us who practice this art have generally learned how to restore balance and initiate healing to others after first doing the same for ourselves, often through trial and error. This is certainly true for me, as I chronicle in my new book, The Fresh Start Promise: 28 Days to Total Mind, Body, Spirit Transformation.

We live in a strange time. The old saying, being “alone in a crowd” was perhaps never more relevant. Go anywhere these days, and witness the commonplace sight of the individual in a public space, surrounded by humanity, yet alone with a device. What is the price of this fascination? Have we become so electronically preoccupied that the inner life, the life of the human spirit, now seems dull and even naïve? To me, the treasures of the soul are too compelling to ignore, and yet to an ever-greater degree, we are ignoring them. This, to me, represents the greatest damage we can do to what I like to call our “joie de vivre,” our spirited carefree-ness.

For the past 20 years, my passion and my profession has been helping people de-stress and, most importantly, regain their emotional balance. This outcome is achieved and maintained through a variety of techniques and strategies.

Change itself is an inevitable, inexorable and welcome part of life. Life is change: we are born, we grow, the people and circumstances around us likewise evolve. What I have discovered, which is true for myself and every person I have ever known or worked with, is that when you change your perception, you change your reality. But if you’re in a panic about your circumstances, how in the world can you calm yourself in order to make that all-important transition?

This is where the wellness and Life coach comes in. Each one works somewhat differently, of course. In my practice, for example, I begin with what I call a “clear and create” approach. Once this is done, we practice what I call The 3 C's Technique (a meditation to become calm, centered and connected). Then we mentally enter “The Screening Room” where the client is led to see her or himself as they ideally want to be – as a non smoker, a svelte, more careful eater, etc. One of the “anchoring” techniques I also teach people is “The Finger Grab,” a ritual of wrapping the left thumb with the right hand while making a hissing serpent. Sounds strange, perhaps, but unanimous feedback is that it facilitates acute anxiety release, and not only when they’re with me!

Attitude is everything in life – especially when it comes to embracing change, even in its most anxiety-provoking forms. Imagine you have become a skilled surfer, the waves are your passion. You believe that each wave offers you an opportunity to test your courage, develop your physical and mental strength and gain greater self-confidence and self-esteem. With practice and deep observation of the sea, you have developed the ability to know when to stay at sea and when to return to the safety of the shore. In so doing, you have reached that perfect balance between “retreating and returning.” You understand that if you don’t retreat at the appropriate time, you may become so exhausted that the wave can crush you. Returning to the shore will allow you to restore your physical and emotional strength so that later, refreshed and renewed, you will be ready, willing and able to ride the wave again, feeling stronger than ever.

The 3 C’s meditation, to me, is that “return to shore” to become calm, centered and connected and ready to return to sea with clear focus and renewed energy. It is an easy-to-use technique that can be accessed anytime, anywhere, from in between business meetings to preparing for a peaceful night’s sleep.

One technique my clients especially like is “The 5 Bites Technique for Mindful Eating.” They report that putting it in practice regularly effortlessly shrinks their waistlines as it also helps them permanently transform their approach and attitude toward food, body and self. In this technique, which is described in greater detail in my book, you can eat whatever you like. But, after the fifth bite, you must put down your fork or spoon, lean back in the chair, take three deep breaths and visualize every breath filling you with peace, freedom and relaxation. After this breathing ritual, you can continue to eat, but only after answering these two food awareness questions: (1) Am I actually tasting what I am eating? And (2) Won’t the next bite taste exactly like the previous bite? The answers will determine if you a) finish all the food on your plate, b) finish some of the food on your plate, or c) leave the food on your plate because you have satisfied your body’s need for nourishment and your mind’s desire for comfort and joy.

Another strategy that works for my clients involves the use of positive affirmations. My clients affirm every day that: “I Can, I Do, I Will.” Through repetition, they create a commitment to becoming the person they visualized in “The Screening Room.”

While this is a lifelong process, I have discovered that it takes 28 days of clearing out what you don’t want in your life and replacing those patterns and habits with what you would like instead. Working with a wellness and Life coach has helped many deal more easily with whatever life throws at them in healthier ways, and in so doing, they rediscover their joie de vivre. Isn’t that what we all want? To reconnect with the joy that is our birthright? To be a champion surfer on the waves of life? I know I certainly do!