You probably aren’t aware of it but the conversations you have every day – both the ones you have with yourself (which I call private conversations) and the ones you have with others (public conversations) - have a HUGE impact on your ability to enjoy your life as fully as you would like to.

Psychological research has found that your subconscious interprets what it hears very literally. That is, it listens to what you are saying (to yourself and others) as being ‘the truth.’ This in turn affects not only how you feel about yourself but also how you respond to your circumstances and to people around you and so, in turn, the results that you produce in your life.

The World is Your Mirror
The world mirrors yourself back to you. If you use positive language about yourself and your ability to take on the challenges in your life then that is what will show up for you externally. Likewise, if you make a declaration about yourself or a situation as being hopeless or terrible, then that is the reality that you will be living into. For example if you say something like “I’m hopeless when it comes to making requests of others” then you will in all likelihood continue to struggle lack of success in your finances. And if you say something like “There’s no point trying to… (get fit, change careers, cut back your hours at work, get a pay rise or promotion, find the ideal partner, resolve an issue with your spouse/boss/colleague/sibling, figure out how to use your iPod, start a business, learn guitar) then you are pretty much guaranteeing your fate in relation to each of those things.

The reality is that negative language can have a profoundly negative impact on your ability to enjoy your life right now and to take the actions you need to fill it with more of what you want and less of what you don’t. There are countless ways it can do this but here are a few:
• Keeping you stuck in situations which you don’t enjoy and settling for less than what you really want
• Leaving you feeling disempowered, lacking confidence, resigned and anxious about dealing with your ‘problems’ (another word for ‘opportunities’)
• Undermining your willingness to step out from the status quo, take chances, make changes and take on bigger and more meaningful goals and challenges
• Zapping you of the ability to simply embrace and experience joy where you are right now, for all that it is and for all that it isn’t
• Limiting the quality of the relationships you have with others
• Never knowing just how extra-ordinary you really are because you never step out to take on those things which would allow you to fulfill your true potential
• And for parents, failing to be the role model you would like to be for your children (after all, how can you tell your children to go out and live their dreams if you aren’t doing that yourself – our children may not often listen to what we say, but they too often copy what we do)

So how might this apply to you?
I encourage you to ‘watch your language’ over the next 24 hours and take note of where you are voicing negative comments about yourself, others and the circumstances around you. Where are you continually judgmental, critical, pessimistic, complaining? What is it you say about yourself to others that leaves no possibility for you to be any other way?

Shift Your Mood (and that of your workplace, home …)
If you do notice yourself using negative language ask yourself:
• what other perspectives could I look at this person/circumstances from?
• what other explanations might there be to explain this situation?
• how else could you describe this situation that would shift my mood from one of resentment / hopelessness/frustration to one of ambition/wonder/optimism?

You don’t see the world as it is, but as you are.
By shifting the language you use to being more positive you can literally shift the way you see the world and your daily experience of life. This has a HUGE impact on your ability to take actions to address those aspects of your life that aren’t as you’d like them to be.

For example,
• My relationship has so much potential to be improved and I am going to give my best to creating a closer and more rewarding relationship
• My job hasn’t been challenging me of late but it’s a great company so I am going to speak to my boss about what opportunities might exist for me which will be more challenging and exciting.

Pain to Power Vocabulary

I should > I could
It’s not my fault > I’m totally responsible
It’s a problem > It’s an opportunity
I’m never satisfied > I want to learn and grow
Life’s a struggle > Life’s an adventure
If only > Next time
What will I do? > Whatever happens, I know I can handle it
It’s terrible > It’s a learning experience
I don’t know the answer > I know the answer is out there – I wonder what it is?

Keep Speaking As You Always Have, Keep Getting What You’ve Always Got!
It doesn’t matter how negative you may have been in the past about yourself or a situation, you can make a decision right now to adopt more positive language. Sure old habits die hard but if you are truly committed to transforming you’re life to one that you really love then it is simply a matter of remaining vigilant of the words you speak. If you slip up, no problem, just choose again to keep trying. Being positive in life, and using positive language, is a choice you have to make again and again and again.

“Most folks are as happy as they make their minds up to be” - Abraham Lincoln

If you continue to do so it will not only lift the mood in which you live your life but it will gradually feel more powerful in your own life (and less a victim of the circumstances you find yourself in). This will enable you to tackle those things that have been limiting your success and happiness and holding you back from being your greatest.

You may not choose the circumstances you find yourself in but you can ALWAYS CHOOSE how you react to them. Make the choice to reframe things in a more positive way is making a choice to be a person who not only feels more powerful in your ability to deal with whate4ver challenges come you way but also to bring a more a more positive and uplifting spirit to those around you.

Author's Bio: 

Margie Warrell is a Coach, Speaker and Author who works internationally with individuals, teams and organizations to enhance communication, develop leadership and fulfill individual potential. Author of “Find Your Courage! Unleash Your Full Potential and Live the Life You Really Want”, Margie is internationally renowned as an expert on courage as it relates to communication, relationships, leadership and life! As a mother of four young (and noisy) children, Margie specializes in helping other women find the courage to pursue the goals that inspire them – personally and professionally - with greater success, fulfillment and balance. Together with John Gray, Richard Carlson, Jack Canfield and other internationally recognized success experts Margie has also co-authored “101 Ways to Improve Your Life, Vol 2”. For free resources on how to live a more courageous and rewarding life, further information about Margie’s coaching and speaking programs or to subscribe to her free monthly eNewsletter “Your Greatest Life!” visit or email