Plan your life and plan to love
The love you feel for each other is just the beginning.
It gets better every day,
And here is how!
Forget those people who tell you how your love and passion will take a back seat to the so called realities of life. What do they know! Just because “everybody” says the same thing doesn’t make it true either. Remember not too long ago “everyone” believed if you sailed too far west you would fall off the edge of the world. Ignorance is ignorance no matter where it comes from. You have the ability to have increased love in your marriage and it ain’t hard!
The first thing you need to do is not do anything dumb (any more). Fights are no longer acceptable forms of communication. If you feel the urge to be rude go stand in front of the mirror first and take the aggression and anger out of your system by forcing a smile on your face (it is your face and it must do as it is told).
Say to your image “you are so awesome and beautiful, nothing can make you angry. If you get angry you won’t look beautiful anymore and you will feel like a dope later. Have a drink of water and remember how amazing your lover is.”
Next, replace the destructive notions with powerful ideas of praise for your spouse. Crowd out the “rat” thoughts that are nibbling on your happiness with loyal thoughts of praise and admiration. Recall the qualities that won you over in the first place and don’t even allow thoughts like “nobody is perfect” in your mind. It is your mind and you can make it think and feel any way you wish.
Plan to say something to your spouse that will make them feel special every day.
Plan to understand more about your spouse every single day (don’t be a pest - be subtle).
Praise your spouse every single day - can be for the same thing as yesterday
Tell your spouse “I love you” as often as possible
Hold hands even when you don’t feel like it
Always respond affectionately to affection
The one you married is your ideal spouse and co-parent. Appreciation is always appreciated and expectations always lead to disappointment.
You will have the best marriage that ever was. You will be a newlywed forever.
Paul Friedman, author of Lessons For A Happy Marriage, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on his relationship advice blog, at Lessons For A Happy Marriage.com