Reflections on Love and Marriage

By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz

"the marriage doctors" and Authors of the Book
Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage
(Available at .

This coming Monday, we will celebrate our 41st Wedding Anniversary. Just imagine, being successfully married for 41 years! And as a friend of ours used to say, “And to the same person!” Having a successful marriage is certainly a life goal. We are well on our way to being one of those fortunate couples who celebrate golden anniversaries.

While we spend a lot of time studying and writing about the successful long-term relationships of others, we decided to spend some time today thinking about our own wonderful marriage that has spanned more than four decades of our lives.

One of our favorite lines from a song says it all – “Still crazy after all these years.” That’s the way we feel about each other – still crazy in love after all these years.

Forty-two years ago, a small town Missouri boy met a California girl at College. His friends were the sons and daughters of Missouri farmers and other good folks who worked on the railroad. Her friends were California surfers and swimmers. She was bronze colored, tall, and had that look of a long-distance swimmer. It was fun for Charley to see her walking down the sidewalk grooving to the sounds of the Beach Boys as her hair blew in the wind. He still marvels today at how much he loved her then and how much more he loves her today. Think golden anniversaries!

Liz used to listen for hours while Charley sang Elvis songs to her. She once said, “Gosh, you really do sound like him!” Charley turned red, but he was proud. Elvis was his hero. And now Liz was!

Liz tells Charley every day how much she loves him and how she couldn’t imagine life without him. Charley smiles, then cries. It feels so good to be loved so much. He reflects on his life with Liz and wonders how he got so lucky. He loves to tell everyone within earshot how he “married up!” He swears that most men do. Liz says she feels the same way about him. Hmmmm . . . maybe we both married up!

It’s always fun for us to reflect on life together. We have so, so many common interests. We are alike in many, many ways. But through it all we have maintained our individuality and our respective identities – with enormous respect for our differences as well as our similarities.

We recently wrote an article entitled “How Will I Know I Am In Love” for By the measures we articulated in that article, it is still clear that we are still crazy in love after all these years.

Helping build loving relationships that last a lifetime has become one of our greatest goals in life. Being in love and being loved is a great way to spend your life. And while we truly and sincerely believe that successful loving relationships are not all that difficult to understand and make work, we continue to be surprised by the fact that so many “people in love” won’t do the simple things required to make their love last.

On the occasion of our 41st Wedding Anniversary we are renewing our commitment to help others learn the important lessons about love and relationships so that they can practice the simple truths about love everyday of their lives together.

May your love be as strong as ours and your commitment to make your love work even stronger. Go be happy and in love. There is nothing like it. Let’s celebrate our Golden Anniversaries together!

Author's Bio: 

Now you can order the Doctors' new book entitled , Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at With 25 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 41-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with “the marriage doctors” by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Ask The Marriage Doctors or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 60 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 200 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.

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