Opening Your Heart To Forgiveness: The Path To Manifesting The Right Relationship

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”
Proverbs 19:11, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION

Forgiveness is a gift you present to yourself. It is a release from the burden of anger and pain. When resolving to forgive, you choose to live in the present instead of the past. Forgiving does not mean forgetting, but releasing the unconstructive emotions and moving forward. You are not letting the offender off the hook. No matter what experiences caused pain and heartache, these events molded you into who you are today. The individuals and situations you attracted during these distressing times provided life lessons you needed to be taught. Blaming the past for present-day situations is unconstructive. Consider each event as an opportunity for spiritual growth and hearing God’s wisdom.

Forgiveness also means allowing the power of love to enter your being and sharing that energy with others. By clinging to the destructive force of anger, you permit the ego to relive the injustices it perceives done by others and reveals to the universe a wounded image. The process of continuously reliving pain, including describing it to others and allowing your pain to define yourself feeds the atmosphere of self-pity.

I believe most of us go through this stage, especially after the end of a relationship as we try to rationalize what happened. The danger here is remaining in this phase of mourning and incorporating self-pity into your essence. Positive events will not be drawn to your energy if you reinforce a wounded and unworthy aura to the world. Unworthiness inhibits the attraction of love, kindness, and abundance. If you lead with your injuries, you cannot deal with them, grieve, recuperate, and move forward. Learning to let go of the temptation to be cynical, pessimistic, judgmental, and resentful about the end of a relationship - or any other event you deem unforgivable at the time - opens the roadblocks so positive energy can enter. All the judgments we pass on to the lives of others blocks love, harming us profoundly.

Forgiveness is one dimension of loving yourself. By forgiving yourself and those you feel caused pain in your life, you are telling the universe you are worthy of love. God created the need for us to give and receive. He designed us not to hold on to anger, revenge, bitterness, and resentment. We open the door to physical ailments of the body and psychological damage to the soul by holding onto these negative emotions.

Are there resentments you are holding on to? Holding on to anger, resentment, pain, and suffering can become a way of life as much as practicing love. One of life’s lessons is having faith in God’s love and realizing that the suffering we experience in life is for our higher good and our spiritual growth, and to become more in tune with God. Many times we place high importance on material things and superficial needs. We project images of ourselves that are false. Getting too far off the path of goodness, faithfulness, love, and kindness leads us into situations with individuals who take away the important factions of life. That process is an experience not to be held as punishment but to build our spiritual muscles. The individuals and situations we label as hurtful, and in our anger choose not to forgive, shook up the world we created. We perceive a loss instead of a gain.

If you find yourself holding on to anger for what you feel is your right not to forgive others, the personal price will be high. You will feel emotions, but not fully because your anger will be totally consuming. The power of forgiveness is great, but a tremendous amount of courage and commitment is needed to forgive those who have caused us pain and grief. If your motivation stems from a belief that it is the right thing to do or for personal gain, you will not realize the true benefits of forgiveness. A genuine value must be placed on forgiving for the sake of the offender. If you forgive others, you operate from a position of strength physically and mentally. Releasing your anger toward an individual or a circumstance will lead to a feeling of lightness, because the burden of the past is relieved. Love opens the door for positive experiences and people to walk through; anger slams the door shut and bolts it tight.

Do you feel angry and cannot understand why? Do you feel all members of the opposite sex possess negative traits and will eventually hurt you? Anger is a motivational force. It can be a driver for success or a leader to failure. Carrying pain, anger, past hurts, and grudges against others serves no purpose. It is completely consuming and affects how you relate to others. Deceiving yourself does not make the pain invisible. Others see the anger in your actions and hear it in your tone of voice. It is the wall between you and the intimacy you seek.

Forgiveness must become a way of life in your ever-deepening friendships with God and others. There is a direct connection between forgiving others and being forgiven. Your goal of manifesting the right relationship is a request made to God. In order to receive, you must release anything you are holding against anyone and forgive. It is another important step along the path toward the right relationship.